The birds and the bees

It’s hard to believe that anyone can look at nature and still believe that the Almighty God does not exist. To view a sky full of hovering clouds or twinkling stars or even to watch the rain beat down upon the grounds resulting in sprouting grass, green trees, and blossoming flowers—it all validates that God is real, and that for everything, He has a season, a purpose and an order. Nature can teach us many things, if we truly observe what it displays.

For instance, have you ever watched birds collaborate or bees join forces? Springtime is the perfect time to take part in outdoors activities. The next time you do, pay special attention to certain insects and animals, and note how they work together so harmoniously when it comes to building their nests, hives, or whatever it is that they call home. Although these creatures work collectively in various manners, they all have an order in which they do it, and they always do it together.

Perhaps even in this, God is trying to teach mankind a lesson. If this same mindset were taken on by husbands and wives, think how differently the picture of marriage would be. Nature obeys God. Even the winds and the sea obey Him (see Matthew 8:37). Being unified in Christ is not just a matter of being on the same page; you need to make sure that page is in the same book… and then you need to make sure that book is the Bible! Being on one accord, moving in coordination, having the same determination, sharing common goals and desiring the same things for your union is imperative. And it takes a unified relationship with GOD!

On the broad scale, modern day television has painted a ghastly picture of marriage, and many couples have bought into it. In an effort to entertain, numerous televised marriages are portrayed as virtual warzones. Husbands and wives are shown as constantly warring against one another; jealousy is commonplace, lying to each other is second-nature, extramarital affairs run rampant, verbal, emotional and even physical abuse is depicted as acceptable behavior. It seems the more toxic the marriage, the more popular the show. Many Christians, even, sit on the edges of their seats, fully engrossed in and entertained by these shows, yet those same Christians sit with eyes stretched and jaws dropped, wondering why there is such a moral decline in the institution of marriage and the value of families.

People will argue that times have just changed and that this is simply the culture in which we now live. Yet, in all that has happened in the world. Through wars and rumors of wars. Through droughts and disasters. Through plagues and pandemics… the birds and the bees have remained the same. They have not allowed societal changes to breakdown God’s original blueprint. They are still working together in harmony to build their homes, provide for their families, and to protect one another in times of adversity.

To build a happy home and to have a successful marriage, working together is vitally necessary. If the husband is working against the wife, or vice versa, the task will not only be difficult, it will be virtually impossible. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) says: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” In marriage, we are to comfort one another and build up each other as indicated in 1 Thessalonians 5:11. No one should be a better or closer friend to your spouse than you. No one should be a bigger or greater cheerleader to your spouse than you.

Marriage isn’t a competition, it’s collaboration, and collaboration takes teamwork. When you rise, you rise together. Can two walk together except they be in agreement? That question is asked in Amos 3:3, and when it comes to marriage, the answer is a resounding, “No!” That does not mean that a married couple must think just alike in every situation, but it does mean that they must be willing to work together in every situation.

We believe God favors a couple that works together. We have seen evidence of this countless times within our marriage. Functioning in harmony has allowed us to accomplish things together that we may never have accomplished apart from one another, and certainly would not have accomplished working against one another. In Psalm 90:17 (ESV), the Bible says, “Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!”

God has an order for our lives, and for couples under covenant, it includes us being unified. We are to be helpers one to another. There is a quote that has posted many times on social media sites whose credit is given to Ashley Willis, wife of Dave Willis. Together, they have written bestselling books like, “7 Days to a Stronger Marriage,” “The Naked Marriage” and “The Seven Laws of Love.” Ashley’s quote says, “A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It is a husband and wife who takes turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.”

Her quote makes us think of the packs of ducks that we all see occasionally flying in the sky in V formation. One duck is always in the lead of the others, but did you know that the lead duck changes as needed? Anytime the duck who is leading gets tired, it voluntarily removes itself from the lead and falls back in the pack to allow another duck, who is stronger at the time, to take the lead. Just as with those birds, marriage should work similarly.

The Bible tells us that the husband is the head of the wife, and as sure as God said it, it is truth. However, there are times when the husband may get weak, sick, sad; maybe he is in mourning due to the death of a friend, or his spirits are low due to loss of employment. Whatever the situation, there may be a need for the wife to take a leading role until the husband can reclaim his place. When it comes to marriage, the tag-team game is real, and a strong marriage, with an Almighty God at the head and an abiding love at the heart, will rise to the challenge.

As the late jazz singer, Ella Fitzgerald sang, “Birds do it, bees do it… even educated fleas do it.” While she may have been referring to one thing, while we’re referring to another; the one thing they have in common is the need to work together and function in harmony.

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Warner Robins, the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, and the authors of the devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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