Having Some Fun With Those “Getting to Know You” Questions

During a rare moment of “down time,” I found myself scanning the Internet for something to do. (Yes, there are rare moments when I have nothing on my plate and need to find something to keep my mind occupied.)

While perusing the Web I came across a site asking “100 Getting To Know You Questions.” So I figured, what the heck? Let’s see how creative I can be with my answers. Obviously, I can’t fit all hundred questions into this space, but here’s my take on the ones I think deserve an answer:

Who is your hero?
I guess it depends on the moment. One of my lifetime heroes is General Douglas MacArthur, but these days only we history buffs even remember him. (Don’t laugh.  I could have said Curly from the Three Stooges.)

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
In an officer’s cabin on the Starship Enterprise.

What is your biggest fear?
That I will wake up one morning and learn that everybody has figured out I’ve been faking it all along and I really don’t know what I’m doing.

What would you change about yourself if you could?
The face that stares back at me when I’m shaving every morning. Of all the mugs in the universe, why did I get stuck with that one?

What really makes you angry?
The alarm clock going off right at the best part of a dream.

What motivates you to work hard?
My motivation comes in a direct deposit to my bank account every two weeks.

 What is your proudest accomplishment?
That my daughter Melissa has turned out to be a fantastic young woman, wife, and mother to my three grandchildren. I hope I helped her somewhere along the way.

What did you want to be when you were small?
The same thing I want to be now that I’m big – a game show host.

 What would you sing at karaoke night?
You have obviously never heard me sing. Silly question.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work?
Yes.

 Who is your favorite author?
You’re reading him right now. (Just kidding.)

 Have you ever had a nickname?  What is it?
What do you think “Jack” is, anyway? Or did you mean something really embarrassing?

 How would your friends describe you?
I can’t use words like that in a family newspaper.

 What is the best gift you’ve ever been given?
Life itself.  Thanks, Mom and Dad!

 Where do you see yourself in five years?
Five years older.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
I’d go back to June 5, 1975, and tell 16-year-old me who just graduated from high school about some of the big, unpleasant surprises that were waiting for him … but, knowing me as I do, I probably wouldn’t have listened to me anyway.

 If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be?
Mom, Dad, my brother Mark, and my sister Whitney. Mom and Dad are gone, but Mark and Whitney are still around. I’d love one more family dinner with them.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?
If I knew about it, the admirer wouldn’t have been secret, would they?

 Are you a clean or messy person?
You’re familiar with The Odd Couple, right? I’m Oscar.  Definitely Oscar.

 Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?
Me, of course. (Why anybody would be silly enough to make a movie about my life is another question entirely.)

 Do you collect anything?
Well, I try to collect money, but it never stays around long enough for me to do so.

 If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
Do not switch on under any circumstances.  You’ll be sorry you did.

 What song would you say best sums you up?
“They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Hah Hahhhh!”

 Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Ten years older.

 What is one thing you’ll never do again?
Answer these silly “100 Getting to Know You” questions.