Divine directions for dads

Very often, clichés and platitudes are completely baseless. For example, redheads don’t (all) have short tempers. Nor are all blonde women airheads. Other times, there’s a measure of truth behind some old adage that causes it to be oft repeated and easily believed. One saying that has been around for years is that men, no matter how lost we may become, refuse to stop and ask for directions. Akin to that, is the maxim that dads refuse to take time to read the instructions before attempting to assemble some projects. I guess it is up to the reader to determine whether these truisms are actually true.

However, God has given some divine directions for dads to help guide our homes and our children on the path of righteousness. Men, we may be too stubborn to ask some stranger for directions, but we would do well to hear from heaven. Dad, maybe you can assemble that 10-speed on Christmas Eve without looking at the instructions, but when it comes to raising children, we all need all the help we can get! Thank goodness, God the Perfect Father, has written an instruction manual on how to build our homes and parent our children.

One of the clearest (and most challenging) verses aimed directly at fathers is Ephesians 6:4. There, God gives these directions to dads, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

You will note, the verse begins with a negative – don’t do this. Don’t provoke your children to wrath. Of course, that doesn’t mean parents are never to make their children angry. Rather, fathers should always exhibit love in their parental duties. Caring fathers will not needlessly enrage their children by unfair behavior, humiliation or abuse. Simply stated, no father will be able to train his children, if his heart is not turned to them, and their hearts turned to him. Dads who constantly disparage their kids will never be able to reach or teach their kids. Colossians 3:21, the companion passage to our text, reads, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Parents that consistently exasperate their children to the point of resentment will not be able to pour sound counsel into their young minds.

If needlessly provoking our children to anger weren’t possible, or even likely, then God wouldn’t have warned men against it. Yet, there are many times fathers behave this way. Let us list a few ways.

First, dads are prone to have unrealistic expectations of their children. Expecting every child to excel in sports or have straight As is unreasonable. Further yet, demanding perfect obedience every time a child is given instructions will lead to frustration for both parent and child. Men, you don’t always perfectly obey God! Why would you think your children will perfectly obey you?

Fathers fail their children by showing favoritism. The Bible contains numerous accounts of bad parents who showed partiality to one child over another.

Dads do wrong when they fail to properly discipline their children. Inconsistent, unexplained or excessive discipline can ruin the relationship between father and child. Or, a lack of discipline can provoke children to wrath. Kids need clear guidelines. Parents would do a far better job of child-rearing if they listened more to God and less to Oprah and Dr. Phil!

God’s directions for dads not only include the negative – don’t do this, but also a positive – do this. “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Fathers, read these words carefully, bring them up. You’ve got to bring your children! They cannot get where they need to go, unless you bring them. So, bring them! Bring them up, not crush them down!

However, note the directions specifically say, bring them up in the nurture (instruction) and admonition (bringing to mind) of the Lord. The greatest desire of every dad should be that his children come to saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and spend their lives in service to Him. Men, you can involve yourself in this, by obeying the directions given to dads in God’s Word. According to Deuteronomy 6:6-9, fathers are to teach their families about God. Like it or not, we men have been called upon to be the resident theologians in our homes. A godly father will raise his children with one eye always looking to eternity.

Fathers, what is more important? That your children know Geometry or Jesus? What good does it ultimately do, if our children are accepted into an Ivy League school, but refused entrance into the Pearly Gates? I am not downplaying the importance of a good education. Nonetheless, our children are much better off knowing the Messiah, than math.

Men, teach your sons to catch and show them how to throw a curve ball. But we have failed, if we teach our children that a trophy sitting on a shelf is worth more than a crown to cast at Jesus’ feet!

Dads, teach your daughters how to defend themselves, but also teach them how to defend the faith! Men teach your children how to save money. But more importantly, teach them how to be saved! Fathers, we do wrong if we tell our children about life, but do not help prepare them for eternity.

This is hard work. Being a dad isn’t for wimps! It requires patience and grace. God’s directions are much harder to follow than the GPS, but His directions lead to a much better place … a home where peace rules and love reigns!

To every father, stepfather, foster father, grandfather or father figure, may these words challenge you to be the best dad you can be, for the good of those little ones God has placed under your care!

HHJ News