The lucifer complex

There was a point in time when the devil had a heavenly relationship with God. Yes, the devil was once an angel, right along with Michael, Gabriel, and the rest of the heavenly host. He’s best known today as satan, but at that time, his name was lucifer. According to “Strong’s Concordance,” the name lucifer means, “radiant morning star.” On the other hand, it defines the name satan as meaning, “adversary of God.” The names and meanings are as vastly different as are the position in which he was then and the one he holds now. Please allow us to pause here for a brief side note: It’s not a typo. We are purposely not capitalizing any versions of the proper names used to identify the devil. He doesn’t deserve the respect of our doing so. Now, let’s continue.

We’ll venture to say that most people have heard the saying, “pride goes before destruction.” While some may think it’s just a common quote; it’s actually a biblical reference. The Amplified Bible (AMP) version of Proverbs 16:18 puts it like this: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” In the history of the world, there has never been a better example of this than the one lucifer draws for us in his notorious fall from grace.

As lucifer, the devil lost an amazing position in heaven because he became voraciously prideful. So much so, that he conspired to elevate himself above God. The Bible tells us that lucifer held a high-ranking position among the angels. He had great power, influence, beauty, and yes, even wisdom. God had tremendously favored him, but despite that, lucifer turned against God. He became so full of himself and so engrossed in his blessings that he forgot from Whom those blessings had come. Suddenly, instead of rendering worship unto God, lucifer wanted to be on the receiving end of the worship.

This wasn’t your ordinary everyday pride; lucifer had insolent pride. His pride showed a rude and arrogant lack of respect toward God. For that, he lost his place in heaven with no possibility of regaining it. According to the Word of God, lucifer’s fall from heaven was quite remarkable. It was a sight to behold. In Luke 10:18, Jesus said, “I saw satan fall like lightning from heaven.” Wow! Can you imagine what that was like? He was stripped of all his honor—even his noble name. It was then that lucifer’s identification was changed to satan. In one phenomenal streak of lightning, he went from being a radiant morning star to becoming an adversary of God!

You may wonder what all of this has to do with relationships—particularly that between a husband and wife. Comparable examples of what took place with lucifer happen every day across the globe with couples. Selfishness and empty conceit—insolent pride—takes something that was created to be blessed and beautiful (marriage) and turns it into something awful and appalling. For the sake of this column, we’re calling this collection of greediness and egotism “the lucifer complex.”

This complex is a twisted mindset instigated by satan himself. No husband or wife should ever take it on. It is that mentality wherein one spouse takes on an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. That’s the definition of a narcissist, by the way—and narcissism should have no place in a marriage covenant. The lucifer complex will have one spouse competing against the other for outside attention, as well as accolades and admiration. It will have one being jealous or envious of the other, even to the point of trying to break down one spouse’s self-confidence or self-esteem so that the other spouse feels superior.

Today, we live in a very self-centered, self-serving society wherein the building up of oneself is often encouraged. Please don’t misinterpret our words. There is absolutely nothing sinful or even inappropriate about knowing your self-worth; we all should strive to do that. After all, we are made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27). He loves us. God thought we were worth Him sending His Son to die for us. What can be more awesome than that? Even so, in our effort to value ourselves on a human scale, we must not cross the line and step into having a superiority complex. That is an attitude that is not of God.

In marriages, there may be one spouse who makes more money than the other, one who is more physically attractive than the other, one who is smarter than the other, or maybe one who is more accomplished than the other. When that’s the case, you best believe that the devil will try to make one feel more revered than the other. The lucifer complex will strip away the joy, love, peace and unity of a marriage and cast it away just as he was cast from heaven—like a streak of lightning. And just as he has no chance of getting back what he lost, satan will use every device against a marriage in hopes that the harmony will never be restored.

The Bible tells us that satan comes for three things and three things only: to steal, to kill and to destroy (John 10:10). Everything he orchestrates is with one or more of those things in mind as the end result. That includes his master plan for marriages. Therefore, it is up to husbands and wives to make him out of a liar; to stand together, unified in Christ—not allowing the lucifer complex to infiltrate our bonds. We cannot let him use our minds and bodies as tools to exalt himself.

In 1 Peter 5:8—the New Living Translation (NLT)—we are told to, “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” Our mandate is to be sure that “someone” is not us.

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Warner Robins, the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, and the authors of the devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

HHJ News