Righteousness within the marriage bond

Matthew 6:33 is probably a familiar Scripture to most believers. It states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

In Scripture, we are often reminded the importance of seeking God, obeying God, serving God. We are shown examples of those who received from the Lord because they FIRST sought Him and followed His commandments. But too often, we expect God to do monumental things for us while we do little or nothing for Him.

Now, let’s look at that truth about righteousness in marriage; that truth that the believer, by grace, is made righteous with God through the work of Jesus Christ. Let’s look at the truth of whether we FIRST seek the righteousness of God in our covenant relationships—or if we just expect God to bless our bonds in spite of our disobedience and regardless of how we live our lives or how we treat each other.

Let’s apply the truth of justification within the marriage. Have you ever thought of how two people—who, by grace through faith, believe that they are right with God—ought to live with each other? The fact that we are justified before God, forgiven of our sins, and made righteous in Christ; what does that mean for us as husbands and wives? If we are right with God, shouldn’t we know how to live in unity with our spouse? Do we make God a priority in our marriages? Do we seek Him before making decisions? Are we following the blueprint (the Bible) in how we treat one another?

First things first. In order to be successful at having a righteous marriage, we must marry one who has a relationship with Christ and knows Him as their personal Savior. Not just a churchgoer or a good person or a religious person. We’re speaking of someone who strives daily to please God and desires to be found in right standing with the Lord—not with man.

To have this kind of marriage bond, we must enter covenant with someone who also, by grace, seeks their righteousness before God; not in themselves, but in the finished work of Jesus Christ, one whose soul is saddled with the questions: “Is God pleased with my life? Does He find pleasure in how I’m treating my spouse?” Marrying someone whose great questions in life are: “How am I viewed before the eyes of others? What do they think of my marriage? What about my social standing? What about my money?” would be a grave mistake.

Only vindicated believers can have godly fellowship one with another. So, that tells us that FIRST, we must seek a marriage partner among those serve the one and true living God. That, alone, will take us a long way in knowing how to treat each other in marriage.

One of the biggest errors we can make in life is to be in Christ but marry someone who is not. It happens more often than most of us want to believe, and it largely happens because we don’t seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness. As Christians, we are still flesh and blood. We deal with the same fleshly desires as unbelievers, because like them, we are human. Consequently, if we choose to follow our flesh instead of praying and asking God for direction, we can find ourselves marrying what appeals to our flesh but what is revolting to our spirit.

The devil can make the worst things look irresistible to our natural eyes, and if we are not careful and prayerful, we can find ourselves in a chaotic marriage that God never ordained or intended. Amos 3:3 asks the question, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” A righteous marriage necessitates that both husband and wife are walking together on God’s path for their union. It requires an agreement to seek God’s direction for their lives so that He can add “all these things” that He desires for them. In order to get the increase of God, we must FIRST seek His righteousness.

Married friends, it’s time that we all get to the point where we are convinced in our hearts that when we communicate with our spouses, we are speaking through the mouth of one that seeks God FIRST. Marriage is just that important. The righteousness of God is just that important.

What are you asking God for in your marriage? What’s on your bucket list as a couple under covenant? All husbands and wives should have collective goals because marriage is the merging of two people into oneness giving it their all—not 50/50 but 100/100. As Christian couples, our aims should reflect what God has ordained for us. They should be aspirations that not only please Him, but in some way coincide with the building of His kingdom’s agenda.

In other words, our desires as married believers shouldn’t be selfish and only geared toward making our own lives better. We should have a hunger and a desire to do God’s work. We should want our marriage to be a form of ministry. It is when we focus on God’s purpose for our lives that He will add “all these things” to us.

God knows what we desire of Him. Many of us have pleaded with God for years for things that we desire. We want material things—and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as they aren’t things that go against the Word and the will of God. We want nice cars and homes, wealth and good health. We want children and grandchildren—so many beautiful things are on our prayer list. But sometimes, as we’re asking for these things, God is also asking something of us. We can’t hear God’s instructions for us, because we’re too busy giving our instructions for Him.

God is saying, “Seek me FIRST.” He wants us to do His will FIRST, be obedient to His Word FIRST; trust His plan FIRST. There is a reason that we keep putting the word in all capital letters. As Christians, many of us have a dreadful habit of coming to God only after everything else fails. We think we’re smarter than God. We think we can fix it better, make it happen faster, do it bigger. How foolish of us! This prideful spirit has been the downfall of many.

Exodus 20:5 tells us that He is a jealous God. He won’t accept a runner-up position. God will be first place or no place. In years past, there was a popular plate seen on the front of many cars that proudly stated, “God is my co-pilot.” The truth of the matter is, either God is your pilot or He’s not on the plane. He is either the head of your marriage or not in the marriage at all (1 Corinthians 11:3).

When righteousness within the marriage bond exists, it opens the door for more than God’s favor and blessings; it also opens the door of fellowship. When God justifies us, He takes us into His fellowship. Based on the blood of Jesus Christ, He says, “Come in your prayer. Enter the holy place. I will reveal to you the secrets of my heart.”

God didn’t justify us so that we could have our separate existence away from Him. He justified us in order that He might embrace us and bring us close to His heart. It’s the same way when you are married in one faith in Jesus Christ. That means you also—as husband and wife—will embrace each other. You will open your hearts to each other. There will be fellowship one with the other in your marriage.

You want to have an extraordinary marriage filled with love, joy and “all these things” that God has promised? Seek Him first!

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church (901 Gunn Rd., Suite 1800, Byron, GA), the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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