On the marvels of modern technology

It is a magical world we live in. We are surrounded by wondrous things brought to us by the marvelous minds produced by the world. We’ve only been industrialized for just over a couple hundred years, so all the things we take for granted have come to us in a very short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. 

Here’s a brief history of the things that make modern day living a little bit easier: 

The modern gas-powered engine is credited to Karl Benz who one day in 1885 decided, most likely during a drunken bet, because that’s when most great ideas happen, to strap an engine to a three-wheel chassis. Distracted driving was invented a year later when Benz would wreck his primitive car while reading a letter from his distraught wife who just found out their child wanted to go to college to be a mime. He hit a horse-drawn wagon full of turnips, subsequently inventing the traffic jam. 

After decades of automobile advancements, the Hudson Motor Car Company developed the check engine light. Originally called the “idiot light” because the indicator would only come on at times of imminent engine failure and only an idiot would continue to drive with the light glowing in their face, the check engine light would grow into the bane of drivers everywhere, signaling a myriad of car troubles and ignored by people of every nation, kindred and tongue. It’s nothing a small strip of black duct tape can’t fix. 

There are many women among the ranks of great inventors, including Ohio-born Josephine Garis Cochran who patented the dishwasher in 1886. Cochran grew tired of her heirloom dishes being damaged or destroyed by careless kitchen staff, so she created a hand-cranked device to take care of the task. After the successful first run, half the hired help was laid off. It was the first documented case of humans being replaced by a machine. They tried to protest, but it was hard to prove a case in the wake of a sea of chipped and broken China dishes. Later, in the vein of Benz, someone, maybe Frederick Maytag, attached a motor to a dishwasher and the world was never the same.

Staying in the kitchen, German professor Jurgen Hans developed the first ice maker that produced edible ice in 1929. Before then commercially produced ice was made with dangerous chemicals such as ammonia and sulfur dioxide. Alcoholics the world over rejoiced when they could make a good “old fashioned” at home.

The downside to these, and all, mechanical advancements is that they break. And, seemingly, everything seems to break at the same time. Yes, this is being written by a man who is awaiting delivery of a new dishwasher, refrigerator and driving around in a car with the check engine light on. 

As they say, when it rains, it pours, but alas, such is the modern life. So all I can say is: Will you spot me a couple of bucks?