Mining for nose gold: An inconvenient truth

Let’s talk candidly for a minute or two. Parenting, while one of the most rewarding things a person can do in life, for the most part can be a boring job. 

The task is very clerical, keeping up with schedules, medical history, grades, meal preferences and what all can drive a body mad. And we can’t forget about the downright gross aspects of the role. Mothers and fathers spend countless hours cleaning unspeakable messes and correcting behavior and habits that are unseemly at best and, at worst, unsanitary and crude.

Now I, being the humble individual that I am, feel like I’m doing a pretty good job at this being a dad thing. I’ve always been well organized and, thankfully, I’ve made it past the stage of most of the unspeakable messes. But, as my wards begin to grow, mature and step out on their own a little, I’m neck deep in the correcting behaviors and habits phase and constantly giving little reminders about how one should behave in public. In short, I’m becoming a bit of a nag. 

At times I feel like I’m too hard on my children. Stand up straight, brush your hair, look people in the eyes when they talk to you. All common refrains throughout our days. I’m growing accustomed to eye rolls and disdainful groans, the chorus to the verse of correction. 

The other day, while standing in line at a store, I saw a guy picking his nose. I mean he was really getting in there, like he lost something up in his nasal cavity. I looked away, embarrassed of the situation and thankful I didn’t have to conduct business with him or shake his hand. Then, coincidently, I came across an article checking the science headlines, because I’m a well-rounded individual (not to mention humble), explaining a link in nose-picking to Alzheimer’s disease. 

Apparently, a 2022 study, and why it’s just getting circulated is beyond me, suggests that tissue damage, caused by wayward fingers, allows bacteria to creep up into the brain. This bacterium presents as cognitive decline and has been discovered in the head organ of late-onset dementia patients. The researchers conducted some studies on mice, though I’m not sure mice pick their noses or how they convinced them to start and found enough evidence to line up human testing. The article then suggested that up to nine out of 10 people, hopefully discreetly, indulge in a little nose mining, and thus ended the cautionary tale. 

If that statistic is correct, we could all use a little more nagging from the people who love us, especially if it keeps our minds a little sharper. That fella in the store certainly needed some, or he is the most confident person I’ve ever seen. So I’m going to embrace my nagging phase. You never know what bad habit is going to be linked to some disease or condition.  

And don’t forget to wash after shaking hands.