Sign, everywhere a sign

“Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.” 

That was from Five Man Electrical Band, a U.S. one-hit wonder (#3 on the charts), but the band had more success in their native Canada. “Signs” was released by the band in 1970 as a B-side by MGM Records. It flopped. MGM sold the rights to the band to Lionel Records, which wisely re-released “Signs” as an A-side and sold over a million copies. 

We have a lot of road signs in Warner Robins. Government issued signs, that is. Like a sign on Watson Boulevard (or, 247 Connector, but read on) telling you that there is a traffic light coming up at Robins West. Really? I’m shocked! Didn’t they just put that light up? Like in 1995? But the faded sign remains. 

Then a block away, another sign announces a traffic control device at the Walmart/Lowes interchange. Well, since I was stopped in traffic (it’s Watson, after all), I knew this light was coming, and its been there about 20 years, too. Just an observation.

A lesser known sign tells us that there is a traffic light at Houston Lake and Leverett Road. Probably only been 30 years that light’s been there, no wonder the sign is still there. Gotta warn people. 

I’m proud that the Southeast Little League is in town. I’m not proud of a puny little sign in front of Academy saying to turn right for the league office. To my knowledge, there is no other sign in the county showing how to get to the league office after that. And if a visitor can spot that sign on Watson, glory be. 

Why does Fairfield Inn have a directional sign on Watson just before Margie Drive? I figure they wisely just put it up one night and since it looks official, it remains. I could be wrong, but no other hotel has that luxury. 

All of this sign drama came to my attention when traveling eastbound on Watson. WRPD put up one of those electronic signs telling you how fast you are going in front of the car wash at Corder Road. There is a traditional speed limit sign with the warning, “35 MPH,” right there. 

Then right before McDonald’s, there is another. Then there is another in front of International Square. And then another before the hospital. In less than 3000 feet, four signs and the electronic sign for good measure. And good luck exceeding the speed limit on that stretch of road except at 3:00 a.m. 

The signs over the suicide lane showing left and right turn only? They don’t work. Everybody enters the lane and parks there, waiting for a clearing to finish entering the roadway. Totally illegal but no one cares. 

Apparently DOT has some rule to post totally bizarre signs at random places, like “247 Conn” signs on Watson. Yeah, it’s Highway 247 Connector but who calls it that anymore?

I’m not an entirely grumpy old man. Hospitals, schools, parks, and “Children Playing,” signs are always good. 

I’ll conclude by pointing out that there is a lot of signage that is cluttering the roads which lost its usefulness 20 years ago. That’s a lot of steel that could be recycled. I really should run things. Then again, maybe not. 

For other helpful budget-busting ideas, contact me directly.

Kelly Burke was born in Knoxville where he spent his younger years, followed by high school years in Atlanta where he graduated from Georgia Tech, and Mercer Law School. He has been in private practice, a magistrate judge, and an elected district attorney. He writes about the law, politics, music, and Ireland. He and his wife enjoy gardening, playing with their Lagotto Ramanolo named George Harrison, and spending time with their grandchildren. To see this column or Kelly’s archives, visit www.kellyrburke.com. You can email Kelly at dakellyburke@gmail.com.