Happy New Year

Dixie Divas | Ronda Rich

Of

course, I’ll be having black-eyed peas and collard greens for New Year’s Day.

It has become more than a tradition. It’s almost downright superstition, though

I hate to admit that.

And,

of course, I’ll make the usual resolutions. I’ll commit those stubborn six

pounds to a diet, pledge to work out more than once a week, promise to be

kinder to those who are meaner and read my Bible daily. It is safe to say that

I will not miss peas and collards on the first day of the New Year and, by

sometime in February, I will have already failed at all these resolutions.

However, if I can stay away from a problem with the phone company, I may have a

chance of stretching the ‘kinder to meaner’ resolution to March.

This

year, however, I’m brave enough about my past failures to audaciously add some

brand spanking new ones. That’s because I have a brand new husband and I

realize that it is my wifely duty to help to make him a better man. I’ll

happily use some of my resolutions to do that. Since you and I are such good

friends, I don’t mind sharing them with you and since my husband is a faithful

reader of this column, he’ll have a copy, too.

1.     I

plan to introduce him to a check register. It’s helpful device that lists

checks that are written and keeps a tally of money in the account. Now you

should know – I’m fervent in book keeping and counting my pennies. He, though,

totes checks in his pockets, writes them at will and never thinks to record

them. “I know what a check register

is,” he will say indignantly when I question whether he has ever seen one. This

year I resolve that he will prove those words to me.

2.     I

will challenge him daily to show me that he is carrying a pocket knife. Every

farmer or Southern man knows that a pocket knife is indispensable. “I need

something to cut the twine on these bales of hay for the horses,” he said the

other day. I smiled. “That’s why you’re suppose to carry a pocket knife with

you. You never know when you need to whip it out and cut something.” A wedding

gift from our friend, Mike, was a pocket knife. “Every man needs a pocket

knife,” Mike explained then tossed a nod in my direction. “And she really likes

men who carry pocket knives. She says it’s sexy.”

3.     There

needs to be more reverence around our house paid to that great and mighty

warrior, General Robert E. Lee. I expect his birthday on January 19 to be

treated with somber respect and there should be no head shaking over the fact

that some Southern states declare his birthday to be a state holiday. General

Lee is to the South what Bush Hogs are to farmers – a hero.

4.     I

am going to promote less hand washing around here. My husband, who is not a

doctor but often writes one on television, goes through a bar of soap every two

days while a bottle of liquid soap lasts less than a week. I believe that a few

germs make us healthier. If you keep your body stripped of germs, how can you

build up immunity to them? I will say, though, that of all my resolutions

relating to the man of our house, this is the one I have the least faith in.

It’s probably a safer bet that I will succeed in reading the Bible daily as

opposed to this one. He likes clean.

 

 So,

those are my new, never-used-before resolutions. Maybe my husband will clip out

this column, put it on the refrigerator and practice these things.

Or

maybe I’ll be repeating these resolutions again next year. Just like all my

previous resolutions.

Ronda Rich is the best-selling author of

There’s A Better Day A-Comin’. Visit www.rondarich.com to sign up for her weekly newsletter.

 

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