Food fight 

At a restaurant long since closed, we had dinner with our friends Nancy and Steve Rosenberg. We also brought our two daughters, Maryl, age 4, and Kelsy, age 2.

The perils of dining with young children usually involve temper tantrums over not being allowed to order the Beef Wellington or diaper failures that exceed the engineering limits of modern diapers. But this night was different.

Maryl and Kelsy sat at opposite ends of the table. We had learned never to seat them together.

Dinner was going smoothly. The adults were enjoying good conversation when it happened.

Without warning, food began flying across the table.

It must have been premeditated because both girls immediately engaged in the battle. A video replay would have been needed to determine who fired the first shot.

Of course, we stopped it as quickly as we could, but the damage was done. Our dinner was effectively over. My embarrassment remains 34 years later.

A recent poll found that 75 percent of American adults believe restaurants should offer some form of adults-only dining. Nearly half supported restricting children during late-evening hours, while 46 percent favored designated adults-only sections. Another 46 percent said romantic dining environments should be child-free.

The basic argument is that children are the new smokers.

Smoking in restaurants was annoying, but for years there were few alternatives. Then came smoking and nonsmoking sections. Better, perhaps, but smoke has never shown much respect for boundaries. Eventually, Georgia law made restaurant smoking largely obsolete.

Banning children is more complicated. We weren’t all smokers, but we were all children once. Children are part of life, and a little noise and commotion come with the territory.

On the other hand, when children are in full ruckus mode and their parents seem indifferent, the dining experience can become miserable for everyone nearby.

My standards are different for fast food than for fine dining. I suspect that’s what many respondents meant by “romantic” restaurants. A fine-dining establishment that caters heavily to young children may struggle to maintain the atmosphere its customers expect.

I remember a restaurant—some of you may recall the name—on Margie Drive that opened about 30 years ago. It was wonderful. Ice sculptures greeted guests at the entrance. White tablecloths covered the tables. China dishes replaced plastic baskets. The food and service were excellent.

I thought it was a keeper.

Then one evening we noticed diners in shorts, Hawaiian shirts, and flip-flops. There were young children at neighboring tables. A kids’ menu appeared.

At that moment, I knew the restaurant wasn’t long for this world.

Maybe Warner Robins still isn’t ready for a true adults-only dining experience. We are, after all, a family-oriented town.

But where do you suppose all those children come from?

Probably not from a romantic evening over Happy Meals at McDonald’s.

Kelly Burke was born in Knoxville where he spent his younger years, followed by high school years in Atlanta where he graduated from Georgia Tech, and Mercer Law School. He has been in private practice, a magistrate judge, and an elected district attorney. He writes about the law, politics, music, and Ireland. He and his wife enjoy gardening, playing with their Lagotto Ramanolo named George Harrison, and spending time with their grandchildren. To see this column or Kelly’s archives, visit www.kellyrburke.com. You can email Kelly at dakellyburke@gmail.com.