Finding comfort in calamity

As I shared with you a couple weeks ago, my mother has died and entered into Glory. Mom bravely battled with cancer for over eight years, enduring countless chemo treatments and skin-searing radiation therapy. I refuse to say cancer won, because it didn’t. My mother won! Because of her unwavering faith in God, she went to her deathbed singing, “I am a winner either way.” I have wanted to write something to honor her life and the wonderful legacy she left behind, but I find myself unwilling and inept. Sure, I could put some words on the page and perhaps even say a few good things; however, I’m not ready to really write about her passing. I am (all the family are) still processing the pain and coming to grips with the finality of it. Maybe for Mother’s Day I will try and write something?

In the meantime, I am hurting. As weak or effeminate as it may sound from a 49-year-old man, I miss my mom. And I always will. Yet as I pen these words, I know many of you share a similar sadness. Death has come and taken away someone(s) you love. Thereby leaving a void and emptiness that seemingly nothing or no one can fill. We wish there were, but there is no magic wand that some miracle-working wizard can wave and make all our pain disappear. Wouldn’t that be nice?! Instead, we live on a sin-cursed world where death and disease come and rob us of friends and family.

If the story ended there, it would be sad indeed. However, God is His matchless grace, has not relegated us to a life of hopeless misery and incurable heartache. Instead, He has lovingly provided means whereby we can find real help in our hours of need. I want to quickly mention a couple of the ways the Lord has ordained to comfort us in our calamities, and then introduce what I believe to be the primary means of grace for the pain-stricken saint, which we will expound upon more in the next article.

First, thank God for Christian family and friends. Remembering our feeble frame, that we are but the dust of the ground, God wisely designed us to live in community and not isolation. We need others. Especially when death comes. My family and I are incalculably blessed by having so many Christian friends who have consistently prayed for us and shown their love in numerous ways. It would be impossible to accurately describe how much I have grown to appreciate true friends.

Secondly, I am thankful Jesus started a church. Christians need a place where they can go and worship and share their burdens with like-minded believers. Thank God for the church I pastor. Thank the Lord for the church in Tennessee where my father pastors. How blessed we are indeed to have befriended so many other churches over the years, and what a joy to witness their ceaseless support and intentional acts of kindness when we’ve needed it most.

Having said that, I ask you to hear me well … Thank the Lord for family and friends who stick with us through thick and thin. Nonetheless, the cold hard facts are – our loved ones can’t always be there. At some point they each have to live their own lives. Or, sadly it is our dearest loved ones that death has taken away. Furthermore, as much as they want to help, folks don’t always know what to do, or what to say (or not say). Over the last few weeks, I have learned all too well about my own well-intended but utter incompetence when seeking to minister to those who are mourning. Wanting to help, wanting to ease the pain, I have doubtless offered too many worthless words. My mother’s death was the first real significant loss I have faced. While I concede, people mean well, sometimes the things people say is of no real benefit to the bereaved. I have learned firsthand, it’s enough just to be there. No reason to fill the air with empty words.

Again, thank the Lord for His churches, especially the fine folks at Memorial Heights Baptist Church. They have wept with me and mourned right alongside me and my family. Yet, I am not always at church and that’s okay. We all grieve differently and sometimes some of us just need to be alone.

I have said all that to say this, these things I have mentioned are just a couple of the ways God intends for His children to find comfort in days of darkness. However, will you also concede that when men have done their very best, we still find ourselves hurting and heartbroken? With great gentleness I want to make a couple careful clarifications. Family and friends and churches try hard to help, but each fall short in how much they can do. There is only so much compassion, so much generosity, so much kindness finite creatures can extend – no matter how much they love us.

But God is not limited like mortal men. His grace is immeasurable. His mercies are brand new every morning. His compassion is unfailing. God’s love is limitless. His Gospel changes everything.

Faith in the Good News of Christ is the greatest gift God can give! Not only as we face life, but as we face death. And not merely our own deaths, but the passing of our loved ones. The Gospel brings incalculable comfort to those facing calamity. The promises of God given in the Gospel provides the Christian a hope that is steadfast and sure. The Word of God guarantees the believer we will see that loved one again. The temporal and eternal benefits of the virgin birth, virtuous life, vicarious death and victorious resurrection of Jesus Christ are beyond compare! While we value all that our loved ones have done, there is nothing that equals what Jesus has done.

To whom do you turn to find comfort in calamity? I pray you have good friends and a church home to encourage you. But more importantly, that you have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the Resurrection and the Life.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

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