Expert opinions on improving restless sleep; it’s a gray area

My wife said, “I woke up at 3:30 (a.m.) and couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“I think you suffer from ‘Monkey Brain’,” I replied.

It was the third day in a row she had opened our morning greeting with that – give or take on the time – and in fact it’s something she struggles with mightily. The second (conversation) was me – momentarily forgetting how close she was to the iron skillet and how far away I was from a safe retreat.

“What the heck are you talking about? You’re the one who insists on eating bananas every day!”

Monkey Brain was a term I had heard on the radio on the drive to work the day prior. Curious little monkey that I am – true story: My nickname in middle school was “Monkey Moncrief” (being extremely skilled on the monkey bars made it logical) — I added some internet research to the mix.

I only sought out those who were credentialed experts in the field of sleep studies. Note: You have to search for monkey “brain”, not “brains,” lest you end up reading about some rumored – or real – food delicacy.) 

I thought she’d want to hear.

Me: ”Monkey brain. It’s rooted in Buddhist teachings. It describes a state where your mind is restless and out of control.”

Her: “Wait. What? You want to talk about a mind out of control? Wasn’t it you who thought bungee jumping trip was a good Mother’s Day idea?

“And what do monkeys have to stress over? (Retired, the thought came to me to ask her the same thing but see: iron skillet.) Where to get their next banana?”

Me: “No. It relates to their erratic behavior. Swinging from limb to limb, constantly on the move and all that.

“For humans it translates to a constant state of distraction. Like you saying I have to do this and this and go here and go there and all that and just rattling off a list of things weighing on your mind.” (Not a good look I’m getting from her right now, I’m thinking.) 

“It can result in Monkey Brain, it impacting your ability to focus on things. (The look is getting worse.) It can interfere with your daily activities and tasks, lead to forgetfulness and cause you to have an inability to relax or unwind. A scattered mind that can affect your emotional well-being, cause you feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed and yes, even leading to insomnia.

“So, I know what you’re asking: ‘What can I do about it?’ (Truth be told, knowing her that was the last thing she was thinking about. Again see: iron skillet.) Well, experts say techniques like mindfulness and meditation have shown to be particularly effective. They can calm your mind, improve your attention span (those normally are two words she uses on me – for me to use them on her is normally a very bad thing indeed) and reduce stress.

“That’s not me talking. (Me talking will go nowhere. I need attribution if I’m to make any headway.) Those are the experts. 

“They also say regular physical activity and maintaining a healthy diet … By the way, what’s for dinner tonight? … also contributes to a more stable mental state and can help you overcome Monkey Brain.

“Another helpful method, per the experts, is cognitive behavioral therapy. That involves working with a mental health professional to recognize and change patterns of negative thinking and behavior. 

“Finally, they say, ensuring adequate sleep … although we go to bed pretty early … can help maintain a calm and focused mind.”

“Understanding, and I’m just quoting what I read here, and managing your Monkey Brain is an integral part of maintaining mental well-being and enhancing your quality of life. It’s essential to remember that a wandering mind is natural – it’s when these wanderings become excessive and disruptive that they can lead to issues. By employing strategies like mindfulness, regular physical activity, and CBT, you can learn to tame your Monkey Brain and find peace and productivity in your daily life.

“So, what do you think?

“Honey…

“Honey?”

Oh. Shh. She’s sleeping. Apparently, she didn’t need expert opinion. She just needed for me to talk.