Ever heard of a Ranga?

I search the world over to write columns that entertain you. It’s a tough job, but somebody needs to do it. Today, I write about our friends Down Under. Australia, that is, not Lower Alabama. Apparently political correctness isn’t as big a deal down there. Yet. I’ve been watching a show called “Rake” about an Australian lawyer and politician that is hysterical, but way too imprudent for many. However, this column is about Rangas. 

Yep, Rangas. What is a Ranga? A person with red hair. A caveat I assume you know; I am a redhead. In Australia, the slang name, “Ranga,” for redheads, comes out of orangutans, the primate. Known for its orange hair, dashing good looks, and sense of humor, which you know if you’ve seen “Every Which Way But Loose” and “Any Which Way You Can,” movies in which Clint Eastwood plays second fiddle to Clyde, an orangutan. A vastly underrated comedy movie twin-bill, the movies showcased orangutans as talented primates out for a good time. Apparently in Australia, redheads are considered in the same vein as orangutans by some, while others enjoy my sensibility of just laughing. 

According to “Crikey” magazine: “The word ranga first received wide exposure in 2007 when it was used in the first episode of the popular television comedy series ‘Summer Heights High.’ The context was schoolyard bullying:

Doug: How is it OK for you to bully Ben?

Jonah: ’Cause he’s a ranga.

Doug: A what?

Jonah: A ranga, sir. ’Cause he’s got red hair. Orangutan, that’s what we call him.

Doug: And does that make it OK for him to be bullied, because he has red hair?

Jonah: Well, people are racist to FOBs…

Leon: To us.

Jonah: So, so we can be racist to rangas.

Doug: But redheads aren’t a race, Jonah.

Leon: But sir, there’s heaps of them. They’re everywhere.”

I don’t normally quote such long pieces, but that is funny, I don’t care who you are! The latest hullabaloo got started when the Adelaide Zoo (in Australia) had a promotion offering redheads free zoo admission because one day, we’ll all be extinct, like the orangutans. That’s a bit of a stretch, I know. No less an authority than “National Geographic” magazine says we redheads have at most, 100 years left. It’s based on climate change, as Nat Geo thinks the warmer temps are going to kill us pale-skinned carrot tops. I don’t have the time or space to point out Nat Geo’s long history of bad predictions, racism, bribery and fraud. In this modern world, with sunscreen, umbrellas and dermatologists at our beck and call, I’m confident redheads aren’t going to face extinction anytime soon.

Julia Gillard, a former prime minister for the Aussies, is a redhead. She doesn’t take offense at the Ranga moniker, though enough Aussies did that the zoo canceled the promotion. Ms. Gillard was asked if blondes have more fun, and she replied, “No, I’m convinced redheads do, OK. Go the rangas!”

Me? I’m with Ms. Gillard. Laugh it off. Have fun with it. People want to make fun of us because we are superior intellects, poets, writers, artists, singers, songwriters, lawyers, doctors, sheet metal mechanics and well, just generally superior human beings. If you aren’t a natural redhead, hair dye isn’t going to give you our superhuman traits, but maybe you’ll feel better. And that’s worth something.

Kelly Burke, retired attorney, former district attorney and magistrate judge, writes about the law, rock ’n’ roll, and politics or anything that strikes him. These articles are not designed to give legal advice, but are designed to inform the public about how the law affects their daily lives. Contact Kelly atdakellyburke@gmail.com to comment on this article or suggest articles that you’d like to see, and visit his website at www.kellyrburke.com to view prior columns.

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