Ernie and Mary Pat Hodge: Celebrating 50 years of marriage – A will to win…despite the odds

Based on a study by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University, only seven percent of marriages beat the odds of both death and divorce and reach the 50-year mark. As of August 29, Ernest and Mary Pat Hodge’s marriage will be included in that small percentage. Add to the odds, the fact that both are quadriplegics, and it makes their love story even more phenomenal.

Ernest (known as Ernie by most) was born and raised in Warner Robins and is a 1966 graduate of Northside High School where he played on the football, baseball and basketball teams. After high school, his plans included playing college sports, but shortly after graduation, his life and the plans he had for it were forever changed.

“That summer after high school, I broke my neck working at a job at Robins Air Force Base,” Ernie recalled. “The building caved in [on] me just three weeks before I was going to Georgia Tech. It paralyzed me from my chest down, so I’ve been a quadriplegic from that point on.” Ernie explained that he was just 18 years old at the time of the horrific accident, and it happened on his first day of employment.

“I had only worked two hours. I made a total of $2.50 on that job before I broke my neck,” Ernie said. “I never got a nickel out of it in terms of compensation, because I was working for a contractor at Robins Air Force Base, and the government said it wasn’t their responsibility.”

From the accident site, Ernie was rushed to the Macon Hospital. As a part of his treatment process, he was later transported to Warm Springs, Georgia for physical rehab. Up to that point, Ernie said that he thought he would eventually walk again and be back to normal. However, it was during rehab that he was given the grim news that paralysis would be his lot in life.

“So here I am, 18, already accepted to college, and the doctors are telling me that I’m going to be this way for the rest of my life. It was pretty devastating,” Ernie admitted.

In spite of the dismal report, Ernie said that he never lost his desire to go to college. Back then, however, there was only one wheelchair-accessible university in the United States, and that was the University of Illinois. In order to pursue a higher education, he had to head north.

“I went there and graduated with a degree in aerospace engineering,” Ernie shared. “Mary Pat graduated with a degree in education.”

Notwithstanding what society defines as physical limitations, Ernie and Mary Pat Hodge have been able to travel all over the world and lead lives that have not only been independent, but successful. With Ernie being an engineer, they have moved several times so that they could live in the places where he was assigned. And because she was a schoolteacher, Mary Pat never had a problem finding employment in whatever state they landed.

“My story is a little different,” said Mary Pat, noting that she had very few memories of her life before becoming wheelchair bound. She clearly recalled the years that followed though. “I was seven years old, living in Warsaw, Indiana, when I was struck with polio,” she reminisced. “The polio ended up leaving me paralyzed from my waist down. My arms are also somewhat affected, so technically, I am also labeled as a quadriplegic.”

Mary Pat shared that her biggest challenge was one that most people might not consider. “The struggle was not so much the fact that I couldn’t walk; it was the fact that back then, if you were handicapped or disabled, you could not attend school because of the architectural barriers. The elementary schools had lots of stairs, so I couldn’t go to school and be around other children. I had to receive education at home by a tutor who came twice a week. In middle school, I actually went to school by intercom from my home. That was very frustrating to me because I couldn’t make friends. All of my contact with schoolmates was verbal; I wasn’t able to be around other children.”

By the time Mary Pat was in high school, a new school was built that had ramps; so for the very first time, as a sophomore, she was able to attend regular school. After graduating, she first attended Marian College, a small Catholic college in Indianapolis. But because it was not wheelchair accessible, she struggled in mobility there. Eventually, Mary Pat shifted to the University of Illinois to complete her college career at an accessible campus.

“For the first time in my life, I was able to function on my own,” she said. “I could go all over campus without needing the help of others. I got my degree there, and I became one of the first teachers in the country to teach from a wheelchair. I taught for 20 years.”

The Hodges first crossed paths as two students who shared a love for sports. They both frequented an on-campus rehab facility that was run by a pioneer named Dr. Tim Nugent, who created the program of which nearly 100 wheelchair-bound students had the opportunity to take advantage.

“Ernie and I met at that center,” Mary Pat said. “We had all kinds of sporting events there in addition to the physical therapy.”

“We were both athletes,” Ernie mentioned. “In fact, we both made the U.S. Team and traveled internationally with the Wheelchair Olympics. Mary Pat was one of the best in the world. She set many records—not just nationally, but internationally.”

“We did wheelchair racing,” added Mary Pat. “We competed in the 100-, 200- and 800-yard dashes; javelin and table tennis competitions too. Ernie also competed in swimming.”

“The sports competitions and all that traveling together is what initially bonded us,” Ernie noted.

When the Hodges got married at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Warner Robins in 1970, Mary Pat had just graduated from the University of Illinois, so she began her teaching career in Illinois while her new husband completed his final year at the university. From there, Ernie went on to acquire his masters in mechanical engineering from the University of Florida. As he pursued that, Mary Pat migrated to educating minds in the school systems of Gainesville, Florida.

After about 15 years of marriage, they expanded their family, and the Hodges refer to their daughter as an amazing piece of their story. They adopted Melissa when she was only three weeks old, and from the beginning, they decided she would not be limited. Their desire for Melissa was that she lived life to the fullest and realized all of her dreams. Ernie and Mary Pat described Melissa as independent, beautiful, bold and full of energy. Just as they’d hoped, their daughter grew to become a well-rounded successful adult. Melissa and her family currently live in Woodstock, Georgia where she is employed as the property manager of a company that owns 26,000 single-family homes all over the country. Her assignment is to manage all of those properties, and her parents said she does it extraordinarily well.

When it comes to marital advice, Mary Pat stressed that supporting one another is one of the things that couples today need to learn to do if they want their marriages to survive through life’s challenges. “Always support and love each other. That’s really important,” she stated.

“And depend on each other,” Ernie added. “When you depend on each other, you realize how much you can trust each other. You also realize how much the other person loves you, because they are there for you when you need them. We’re not afraid to depend on each other,” he said of he and Mary Pat. “We’ve become so ingrained with each other that we’re like one mind, one heart, one soul. There’s no doubt with us. When it’s like that, you know you can make it work.”

The Hodges settled back in Warner Robins in February of this year. “We still live on our own,” Ernie said, “but as we’ve gotten older, things have become a little more difficult. My brother and sister live here in Warner Robins, and they’ve been able to help us along the way since February.”

Ernie also shared that he’s in the process of immortalizing their incredible story. “I’m writing a book about our life now that will be published in the next few weeks. This book has all the accountings of what we’ve gone through. This was not an easy life. It took a lot of push for us to be as successful as we’ve been.”

The title of the book is, “Will to Win.” According to Ernie, it embodies what it means to have a drive to be successful in life regardless to the expected and unexpected challenges that a person may face. The book is scheduled to release by the end of August, just in time to help them celebrate their golden anniversary.

“I guess when you think about it, our story really is a pretty amazing, huh?” Ernie said with a laugh.

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