A mid-career performance review 

By the way I figure it, though I’m admittedly not too good at math, I’m about halfway through my job as a father. Yes, I know that technically my work will never come to an end, and as long as I’m alive I’ll be “dad” in some capacity. I should take this time to thank my own father, who is still heavily relied upon by this 40-year-old man who still has much to learn. 

In another decade or so, which will fly by much faster than I want it to, my children will be full-fledged adults. Maybe they will be working, perhaps continuing their studies at a university somewhere, but whatever path they find themselves on, they will most likely be pursuing their own purpose in life apart from me, staking their own claim among their peers in this crazy little world of ours. 

Now seems to be an appropriate time to give myself a performance review, check in with the HR department of life to make sure I’m fulfilling my obligations as caregiver, protector and role model. I’ve never worked a job that required annual evaluation from my peers or superiors. 

Never have I sat in a stuffy office while a human resources manager judged my ability to work well with others or obey the orders of my supervisors (by the way, I believe I would have gotten a perfect score on the former and poor marks on the latter). It is a professional bullet I’ve managed to dodge along my various places of employment. I’ve never been fired from a job nor have I been forced to resign in shame, so I must be doing something right. 

Parenting, though, comes with much trial and error, and there is no being fired or resigning (unless you really screw up and the law gets involved), thus a little self-reflection is always appropriate. 

I’m nailing the caregiver and protector side of things. As far as the basic necessities of life: food, clothes, a safe place to learn and sleep, they are accounted for. My kids are fortunate enough to have more material goods and experiences than my own parents could afford 30-plus years ago.

Under the needs improvement category: the passing down of practical skills, and I need to have more patience. You aren’t born with the basic knowledge of how to do things that help maintain a home, like checking the oil in a lawnmower or cleaning the vent in the dryer. That knowledge typically doesn’t come from a textbook or classroom, and most parents, me included, often don’t realize that.

I need to take more time teaching the things that will come in handy down the road, simple lessons I have ignored, knowledge that I expect them to have yet have not handed down. This information will be boring to them. It’s not on a flashy device with a touchscreen. That’s where patience comes in handy.

Maybe 10 years from now, they will appreciate it. I know I will.