A brutal irony

Sometimes it is really difficult to know how many details to share publicly about any given tragedy, especially when that tragic event is closely connected to the passing of a loved one. Having said that, and with the family’s permission, I want to share a few of the details surrounding the death of my niece. By the time this article prints, it will have been nearly six weeks since Kiersten was killed. I still find it difficult to say those words … to type these words … let alone deal with the painful reality of her loss, but before we speak about the circumstances of her death, it is necessary to learn a little about her life. 

To describe Kiersten or KK (as we called her), I don’t think I could do any better than to share some of what was printed in her obituary. It was obvious the family had spent a great deal of tear-filled time deciding what to say and share about her all-too-brief life. When my brother sent me the first draft of Kiersten’s obit, my initial thought was just how well-written it was. My second thought was – this is something no parent should ever have to write. Sadly, her mom and dad and other family and friends were forced to do that very thing. (As have some of you, I am sure). 

Here is a brief excerpt from her obituary: “Kiersten earned her Bachelor of Science from Old Dominion University, and went on to receive dual master’s degrees in Mental Health Counseling and Addiction Counseling from the University of the Cumberlands. After earning her Certification in Professional Counseling, she dedicated herself to helping others and was actively pursuing a doctorate in mental health at the time of her passing.”

As the family shared at the funeral, Kiersten’s career in mental health deeply reflected her commitment to supporting those facing unseen struggles. That is who she was and what she was all about. Perhaps the single sentence that best captures her primary goal in life is this: Kiersten wanted to help the hurting. And she did. One young lady approached me after the service, and with tears running down her face she said: “the only reason I am alive today is because of Kiersten!” It turns out, Kiersten had counseled with this young person who, by her own admission, was on the verge of suicide, yet Kiersten was able to work with her and show her that she had value and purpose. And this individual wasn’t the only one with a similar story. Many others spoke about the difference Kiersten made in their lives. 

Therein lies the brutal irony of KK’s death. On August 8^th, about 1 o’clock in the morning, she was shot and killed by a neighbor … a neighbor who struggled with mental illness. Yes, you read that right. Kiersten was murdered by the very same kind of person she had committed her life to helping. Late that awful Friday night, they got into a verbal altercation over something as trivial as him playing music too loudly while everyone was trying to sleep. But she and the neighbor had history. This isn’t the appropriate venue to fully disclose the nature of their past conflicts, but let it suffice to say, the man had issues … serious mental health issues. And here is the increasingly awful reality; after shooting my niece, the neighbor got into his car, drove down the road and shot and killed himself. 

In all the ugliness of that night, two lives suddenly ended. Two families were left grieving. And two futures were senselessly snubbed out. And perhaps one of the most conflicting realities we must live with, is Kiersten was killed by the very kind of person she had dedicated her life to helping! Therefore, even in her untimely death we can see a shadow of her beautiful life. 

Yet if we look further at this awful event, I think we can see more than just mental illness, our own emptiness, and hundreds of unanswered questions. Instead, there is something special and spiritual to consider. You see, the brutal irony of this tragedy is very similar to the message of the Gospel. Think on that if you will. Jesus was killed by the very same people He came to rescue. The Messiah was murdered by the very same people who needed Him! His brief but beautiful life was committed to others; to serve them, heal them, rescue them, and save them. But still, His life was taken by the kind of people He came to help. Although He did no wrong, and like our sweet KK did not deserve what happened … still wicked men crucified and killed the Lord of Glory. Nevertheless, God raised Him from the dead and has used the brutal death of His Son to bring eternal life. That is the hope of the Gospel and it is the message I sought to share with my grieving family. 

Let me add one final thought: as I write these words, it has been less than a week since Charlie Kirk was killed. Many of us are still reeling from his untimely death. And we will be for a while … and rightly so. Another young life was senselessly taken way too soon. A godly man was murdered for no good reason. But here again, I cannot help but also see a sad, but similar story as mentioned above. Like my niece, like Jesus, Charlie was murdered by the very kind of person he was seeking to reach. Faith compels the Christian to believe; time will prove their deaths were not in vain. Rather, God has a purpose in all He does and in all He allows, and that even includes the awful events we have endured the last few weeks. 

The message I sought to relay at Kiersten’s funeral is that there is hope to be found in all the hopelessness – light in despair and darkness. But it can only be found in the person and work of Jesus. That statement isn’t just religious rhetoric for the weak-minded, it is a spiritual and historical reality. The only assurance we have in a world where tragedy and brutal ironies suddenly strike, is that there is everlasting life to be found in Christ. Turn to Him today … because none of us are promised tomorrow. Not even gorgeous young nieces who should still be here.