Humility within a Christ-centered marriage

We live in a very arrogant and selfish society. To some degree, it’s always been that way; however, our current day’s haughtiness is at a different level. Today, it is not only considered acceptable, but people are encouraged to boost themselves, to praise themselves and perhaps, worst of all, to put themselves first. This may sound like a good idea on the surface, but in the Word of God we are told to: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3, AMP).

Even in marriage, pride is often viewed as an asset, while humility is considered a flaw. The husband or wife finds themselves shamelessly competing to be the one that gets more acknowledgements and accomplishments as though they are opponents instead of allies. If we’re not alert enough to identify the enemy’s schemes, pride can creep up on our marriages when we’re least expecting it and catch us unprepared.

The fear of humiliation, of admitting our mistakes, of feeling stupid or appearing second-rate can pave the way to pridefulness. God tells us the very act of pride will leave us embarrassed. We can, however, respond with humility, which will bring honor in the end. Pride brings disgrace; humility offers wisdom (See Proverbs 11:2, NIV).

Because we’re human, we’ll make mistakes in our marriages. But when we can confess them to each other and to God, He can bring not only healing, but honor to our covenants and to Himself. As followers of Christ, we are expected to be as humble as possible as we love and serve God and others. Humility is merely executing, admitting, embracing and maximizing the point that we are nothing more than God’s instruments for love and service.

Scripture tells us, “For in Him we live and move and exist [that is, in Him we have our being], as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children’” (Acts 17:28, AMP).

Married friends, we live in a society that will condition us—if we allow it to—with a deep longing to be prominent, well-spoken of, and respected. These are not bad desires. Kept in their proper perspective, they’re fantastic. They’re only sinful when we allow the desire for them to drive us to do ungodly things to obtain them.

Humility is frowned upon because many assume humble people are submissive doormats who allow themselves to be stepped on and taken advantage of. Our own Lord and Savior dispels this myth. Christ was the ultimate in humility, yet He was no push-over. Humility means thinking of God and others before self; that’s what Jesus did. He, in His human flesh, did not want to die, but it was necessary for each of us to receive salvation. Therefore, Jesus, in humility, said to His Father, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”

While the words sound similar, there is a crucial difference between humility and humiliation. Humility is voluntarily placing, serving and loving God and others while humiliation is involuntarily feeling reduced or shamed openly and publicly. You ought never be humiliated serving and loving God and others if you understand and embrace the act that doing so is the greatest calling we can have.

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ He called a little child and set him before them, and said, ‘I assure you and most solemnly say to you, unless you repent [that is, change your inner self—your old way of thinking, live changed lives] and become like children [trusting, humble, and forgiving], you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives and welcomes one child like this in My name receives Me’” (Matthew 18:1-5, AMP).

Arrogance is a marriage killer. Humility is a necessary ingredient for every covenant couple who desires a Spirit-filled, harmonious union. Being able to acknowledge faults and flaws, and then make the necessary corrections and changes is not a weakness; it’s a strength that comes with great rewards.

“Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life” (Proverbs 22:4, NIV).

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church, which recently relocated to Macon, Ga. They are the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the former television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” ™ the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

HHJ News