You’ve been spammed

Did you know there is a tie-in between SPAM, the meat product, and spam, the intrusive emails or texts? SPAM is a portmanteau of “spiced ham.” The intrusive “spam” originates from a Monty Python sketch where the word “spam,” referring to the canned meat product, was used repetitively, mirroring the intrusive nature of unwanted emails.

If you get an email or text saying you are in trouble for not showing up for jury duty, it’s false. It is always false. Trash it. Don’t bother reporting it. Whatever you do, don’t respond in any manner. The clerk of court will send snail mail if you miss jury duty. If the judge is mad, a nice deputy may knock on your door. But there will be no email or text.

If you get an email or text that your EZ Pass owes a toll debt to Florida, Michigan, or even nutty California, it’s false. Every single time. Trash it. Don’t report it. You are wasting everybody’s time if you start calling around trying to figure it out. When you get a flyer that says ABC Yard Service will mow your unsightly yard, and your yard is immaculate, do you call the Sheriff? You just throw it away, right?

If you get a phone call from a deputy saying your son has been arrested and can be bonded out under a special program if you will go get a Green Card at Walmart, it’s a scam. I’d suggest you call the sheriff on that one. By the way, fraudsters can clone the sheriff’s number. Hang up and call the sheriff yourself.

If a 2015 Ford F-150 is on Marketplace in excellent condition, with low miles, and can be yours for $4,500, it’s fraudulent. Every time. Don’t bother responding. Facebook could do more to prevent fraud if they wanted to, but they don’t care. 

If the buyer of your listed item has a certified check for more than the purchase price and wants you to refund the difference, it’s fraud. Every single time. 

Help your elderly (over 45 years old) parents by offering to be a sounding board all the time on every single thing. It’s what you do. They protected you for years, it’s your turn to help them. Tell them there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Computers make fraud so easy! If the fraudsters send out 100,000 text messages and ONE pays off, it’s a big win (for them). Don’t let the fraudsters win. Ever. It’s almost impossible to un-ring the bell, as they say. Prevention is the key. 

P.S. You know I’ve never used “portmanteau” before! Don’t know I’ve ever heard of it until this week, but it’s a morphing of two words into one. Motel comes from “motor” and “hotel.” Brunch comes from “breakfast” and “lunch.” So where does the word “portmanteau” come from? The French, of course. A portmanteau is a large, two-part suitcase. It combines the words “porte,” which means “to carry,” and “manteau,” meaning “cloak.” Like the suitcase, a portmanteau word holds or carries the meaning of two or more words.

Kelly Burke was born in Knoxville where he spent his younger years, followed by high school years in Atlanta where he graduated from Georgia Tech. He then graduated from Mercer Law School. He has been in private practice, a magistrate judge, and an elected district attorney. He writes about the law, politics, music and Ireland. He and his wife enjoy gardening, playing with their Lagotto Ramanolo named George Harrison, and spending time with their grandchildren.