You’re going to pay for your raising’

Mama’s favorite phrase when I was growing up – particularly

during the defiant teenage years, especially when I sassed her – was “you’re

gonna pay for your raising one day, little lady. Let me assure you of that. You

just wait until you have children and see how they behave.”

She repeated it so oft that it became ingrained in my

sub-conscience and I began to worry over that. Life is full of enough problems

without volunteering to bring more upon yourself. So I decided to outsmart Mama

and the powers of fate by not having children. After all, if you don’t have

children, how can you possibly pay for your previously childish ways?

Lately, though, I’ve been thinking that perhaps I’ve

outsmarted myself. Perhaps I’ve missed a good opportunity to leave behind

wisdom and lessons of experience that my children could have passed on to their

children and they to their children. Perhaps something that I’ve learned down

this journey of life would have helped someone two generations from now.

All this started playing in my mind when I wrote my latest

book, “There’s A Better Day A-Comin’.” Those words were the mantra of my

parents passed down to them from their folks, those hard-working,

barely-getting-by people of the Appalachian foothills. For generations, the

only way my people could make it when the skies refused to rain and crops lay dying

was to assure one another, “There’s a better day a-comin’. Just wait and see.”

Mama and Daddy lived by that promise and I learned – finally

– that better days do come again. They always do. No matter how hard or sad

times are, better days always return. And sometimes a better day arrives when

you least expect it. 

As I wrote this book with its stories of promise and people

who refused to give up when adversity rolled with the weight of a dump truck

over them, I found that repeatedly I quoted Mama and Daddy. I shared their

wisdom, so pure, so true and sometimes so simple.

“Be careful what you tell your best friend,” Mama opined.

“She may not always be your best friend. And when she’s not, she’ll tell your

secrets.”

“A man who lies to you will steal from you,” Daddy said

adamantly, tossing a forefinger meant to put a period on the end of that and

stop any further debate.

“The best a man will ever treat you is before he marries

you,” Mama often counseled to any young woman seeking her counsel. “If you don’t

like it now, you’re sure not gonna like it later.”

“When you pray about something, put it in the Lord’s hands

and walk away from it,” Daddy lectured. “Don’t keep pestering him with it. Pray

about it, release it then stand on your faith.”

This barely scratches the surface of their wisdom. They were

thinkers who watched life, studied on the human behavior of others and

assimilated observations from it all.

Repeatedly, I quoted them because often there was the moral

to a story that could be summed up in a quote from them.

Equally, though, I quoted myself taking away from

experiences – both personally and those of others – bits and pieces of wisdom.

From Mama and Daddy, I learned that every situation has a “take away,” some

things to be remembered and learned from including some actions never to be

repeated.

“It only takes one yes to wipe out a thousand no’s,” is a

self-penned mantra that I developed when first trying to capture the attention

of New York publishing.

“Courage comes by choice and not by chance,” was learned

while observing heroes up close and personal. It inspired a chapter about the

ones who taught me. As I proofed the book, I realized that I had outsmarted

myself.

Sure, I don’t have to pay for my raising but I’ve also

missed the opportunity to pay it forward.

Ronda Rich is the best-selling author of There’s A Better

Day A-Comin’. Visit www.rondarich.com to sign up for her weekly newsletter.

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