When the storms of married life are raging

If you’ve spent any length of time in church — regardless of the denomination or the non-denomination — you’ve heard someone refer to storms with a spiritual connotation. No doubt about it; you’ve either heard someone talk, sing or preach about the storms of life. While these storms are spiritual in nature, and don’t consist of natural high winds, thunder and lightning, they are very real. And increasingly, these storms are becoming prevalent in marriages.

When we think of the “storms of life,” we imagine all the challenging and difficult situations that we face. Those things tend to spill over into every aspect of our lives: our marriages, our children, our jobs, our health, our finances; the list feels endless. Those storms are made up of all the challenging and negative things that every one of us wish we would never have to experience. According to the Word of God, however, they are unavoidable.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart because I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NLT).

As married couples, the Word of God gives us absolutely no assurances that our present-day existence nor our future one will be without obstacles or trials that we will inevitably have to fight to overcome. We will most certainly have troubles — no doubt about it. But when they arise, our mindsets as couples under covenant should be to join forces and fight them together as a united front. With God as our head, we have all we need to not only fight a battle, but to win a war. When we become one through holy matrimony, we make vows to stand together as we face adversity.

So, how can we stay together despite what life brings? How can our unions overcome the storms of married life? Regardless of whether you’ve been married 60 minutes or 60 years, your marriage is a target for the devil’s rage, and he has a storm brewing in the background just for you.

What have storms looked like in your marriage? Have you grappled with spousal misunderstandings, sexual complications, health issues, the pain of broken trust? Maybe you’ve faced difficulties that came from sources outside your marriage, such as work-related issues, meddling in-laws, aging parents, a rebellious teen or a natural disaster. Wherever the challenge may have come from, it has the capacity to affect a marriage relationship. Although we may not have the option to choose our storm, we can always decide to let it lead us to deeper intimacy with the Lord and with each other.

As married couples, we don’t have to go looking for tough seasons because they seem to find us all on their own. Yes, we have an antagonist whose never-ending goal is to destroy us, but the great news about marriage is that God gives us a life-long partner, a best friend, with whom we can face life’s difficulties and give the devil a double whammy. Not one, but two black eyes!

Always picture your spouse as a support in the storms; never see them as the “difficulty” or the “enemy.” When we recognize the true source behind our stress (satan), we won’t waste time fighting one another. Instead, we’ll fight the true enemy together.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) reminds us of the benefits of doing life with another person: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

When facing the storms of married life, bear in mind God’s truths. Grow stronger in knowing Him during the storm. Trees with deep roots can tap resources and nutrients that help them to survive during drought. So together, remember God’s truths and grow deeper in them.

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness” (Colossians 2:6-7).

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Byron, Ga., the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the former television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” ™ the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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