When good intentions go wrong

Last night my wife and I settled in to watch a YouTube video titled “In Old Age NEVER Tolerate These Things from Your Children.” We thought it might spark some good ideas for this column. It certainly did—but not in the way we expected.

After thirty-five minutes, something felt off. The narration sounded a little too smooth, the stories too generic, and the whole production had that polished-but-empty feel. I turned to my favorite AI resource (yes, GROK) and asked it to evaluate the video. Sure enough, Grok confirmed what I suspected: the video was almost certainly AI-generated.

That experience gave me my first caution for today.

We are living in an age when we can no longer fully trust our own eyes and ears. Artificial intelligence can create convincing voices, faces, and stories that never actually happened. What starts as harmless clickbait can quickly become something more sinister as the technology improves. I believe the Bible speaks to this kind of deception in these days in which we find ourselves. When the disciples asked Jesus about the signs of His coming, His very first warning was simple and direct: “Watch out that no one deceives you” (Matthew 24:3-4).

So the first takeaway from last night’s video is this: be careful what you believe online, especially when it claims to offer wisdom for seniors. Always test it against common sense, Scripture, and real-life experience.

The second takeaway hit much closer to home.

One of the video’s “NEVER tolerate” points really struck a personal chord. It warned adult children against making major decisions about their aging parents’ living situation without first talking with them. Thirty years ago, I was guilty of exactly that mistake.

In the 1990s, my wife and I were living in Canada while I oversaw Blue Bird’s Canadian operations. My only sibling was busy with his family and career in Birmingham, AL.  Our widowed mother, then in her mid-eighties, was still living alone in our former home in Perry, Georgia.

One day she suffered a serious fall while walking out to check the mail. She broke her arm badly. Not long afterward, two thugs broke into her home, threw her into the bathtub, stole her purse, and drove off in her car. Mom recovered from both ordeals with remarkable resilience, but my wife and I felt helpless being a thousand miles away.

Out of genuine love and concern, I decided to do something. During a business trip back to central Georgia, I quietly visited friends who operated a nearby nursing and assisted living facility. I inquired about placing Mom there without discussing it with her first.

I’ll never forget the look on her face when I told her what I had done. It wasn’t gratitude. It was a mixture of surprise, hurt, and quiet disappointment that said, “Why would you make plans for me without talking to me first?”

That moment happened more than thirty years ago. I was in my early fifties and thought I knew best. Now that I’m approaching my mid-eighties myself, I understand Mom’s reaction far better. I wouldn’t want my own sons making those kinds of arrangements for me without sitting down and talking with me first.

Here are two important lessons I hope you’ll take to heart:

For younger seniors (those still in your 50s, 60s, or early 70s) who are worried about aging parents: No matter how pure your motives, don’t start making plans for their future without consulting them first . Even well-meaning actions can feel like a loss of dignity and independence if they’re done behind their back.

For older seniors (like many of you reading this column): While you are still of sound mind and body, have an honest conversation with your adult children. Let them know clearly that you want to be part of any discussions about your living situation, care needs, or future plans. Put your wishes in writing if need be—through a simple letter, advance directive, or family meeting.

As I reflect on this, the lesson feels especially important for our family. Both of my sons and their wives have spent the last 18+ years passionately caring for seniors through Visiting Angels of Central Georgia. They are true experts in the field. Even so, I want them to remember that their dad still wants a voice in his own story.

Love sometimes means stepping in to help. But real love also means respecting someone’s dignity enough to ask first.

Thanks for reading All About Seniors. See you next week!

Bill Milby is a Director of Visiting Angels® of Central Georgia, a non-medical, living assistance service for seniors. If you have questions or comments about this column you can reach him at william.mercylink@gmail.com or search for us at https://www.facebook.com/VisitingAngelsofCentralGA