Things married life has taught me

In July of 2022, I was having a (not so) normal night out with some friends; it was going south, fast. We were about to call the night, as Devon, my boyfriend at the time, was feeling nervous and sick, for some reason.

Our group split into two; Devon, two friends and I headed towards our car in Downtown Macon. My other three friends headed to their car, and to Waffle House some time later.

On our way back to the car, Devon was still nervous but feeling more energetic, motioning towards a park along Third Street. A fountain greeted us as we began walking through the park to a pavilion, brightly decorated with purple string lights.

Our friend was more mesmerized that we were, and started recording the scene on his phone. I started to take pictures of the lights and fountain. After a couple of minutes, all four of us were under the pavilion. I continued my photoshoot, completely oblivious to what was going on nearby.

“Brie?” I heard behind me. I turned around, and Devon was on bended knee.

The waterworks began right away. I couldn’t see Devon clearly anymore as tears welled up in my eyes.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t go to Florida,” Devon explained. We were planning a trip for that weekend that fell through.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t get a more scenic area. I really tried my best,” he continued. “Would you make me the happiest man alive? Will you marry me?”

Still crying, I said yes.

The proposal taught me about making progress and effort. With a current internet culture that drags people for not putting in enough effort, when plans fall through and don’t meet every single expectation, it’s easy to feel disappointed and critical of yourself.

I could tell Devon was feeling this way that night. But none of that mattered. His expectations were sky-high, possibly unattainable, and he went with plan B. I didn’t care if it was plan A, B, C or Z. I was glad he made the effort anyway. I was thrilled he took that step.

In relationships, careers, family life, I feel the only failure is never making an attempt. Progress may not be what we envision. It may be slow-going some days and a sprint other days. It may not even be linear. You may find yourself taking a step back or reevaluating your path. But it all works together. As long as effort is being made, progress is inevitable.

Fast forward to now, and within the year, Devon and I have already made progress in our lives. Little by little, we’re building a castle together and it’s brick by heavy brick.

Our foundation is strong, focused on God, building each other up as we draw closer to Him and ourselves. We tied the knot in April, and day by day, I’m learning more about him.

When I thought I had figured it out, what makes my husband tick, what he likes and dislikes, I learn more. We keep the lines of communication open and it teaches us the unexpected. But every new facet of Devon makes me love him even more. It assures me that Devon is my God-chosen partner, that He has a plan for us.

We may be one unit, but we have our differences. He’s charismatic, but very much an introvert; I’m an extrovert and get very bored when I’m alone. He wants to head straight home after work; I want to do errands and date night instead. He wants to sleep in the car, no matter what time of day; I want loud music and conversation.

Those may be smaller examples, but we have already faced big decisions to make as a couple and we had different ideas. I don’t like the word “compromise,” so we look at it more as cooperation. Our ultimate goal is to both be happy with the outcome, so we never stop trying to find the best solution. We’re both behind it 100% at the end of the day, when decision time is looming. It’s never “my plan” vs. “his plan.”

At time of writing, we’ve been married for exactly 40 days, so I realize we may not be the experts on marital advice. But whether it has been 40 days or 40 years, we plan to never stop learning, never stop dating, and never stop loving. If we do those things, I have no doubt we’ll make it.

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