The implications of marriage vows

For just a moment, we challenge you to think about all the preparation that went into your wedding. There are many things that were planned and carried out, as you prepared to say, “I do.” You picked the date, found the location, chose the perfect garments, selected the ideal colors, made the guest list, booked the best photographer, musicians, officiant, decorator, facility… and the list goes on.

During the ceremony, there were various elements of the service. And yet, of all the components that had to come together for your special day, we believe the most important moment was when each of you declared your vows to one another.

The vows couples recite in the presence of those who gather as witnesses to their covenant is an earnest promise of intentions. It is a covenant made before God and between two individuals who are coming together for a definite purpose. In marriage, we say our vows to one another as an announcement of our intentions and commitment to live out those intentions. They are the founding values of the marriage. Vows hold spiritual weight and value in the eyes of God, thus joining each person’s life to that of their spouse.

Sadly, a life-long commitment of two people in the holiness of marriage is becoming increasingly less dominant. But even in a world that lacks true dedication to keeping one’s word, those of us who are purposeful and intentional in keeping our bonds solid can be lights of hope to a world full of watchful eyes, exhibiting what can be true for their marriages as well.

Wedding vows are at the footing of every marriage ceremony. They are the words spoken by the couple to each other, which state both a commitment and a promise. Vows express how the couple intend to relate to each other, how they intend to walk the path of life together and what meaning they intend to give to their marriage. Because the vows mold the foundation of the covenant, it is our firm belief that they should be carefully chosen so that they most accurately express what the couple desires to create in their relationship.

Wedding vows aren’t just words any more than a marriage license is just a piece of paper. Don’t believe the devil’s lies! Marriage was created by God. He honors it, and nothing that God honors is meaningless.

The words of the vows usually speak about the hope and future of the marriage. In modern-day, many couples choose to write their own vows so that the words spoken aren’t mechanical or robotic. They want to express words to each other that are specific to themselves plus the plans, dreams, prayers and intents they have for their covenant. It’s beautiful to create personal vows, but it’s perfectly fine to stick with the conventional ones too.

Traditional vows maintain the famous phrase, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” Many contemporary brides and grooms choose to leave that out, but this profound promise, when spoken from the heart, it is a beautiful expression of the couple’s intent to remain faithful, loyal and devoted through all times.

These vows also include the somewhat archaic word, “cherish.” The literal meaning of that word is “to build up.” So, what the individual is saying is, “As a result of your committed relationship to me, you will become a better person because of the love and support I will extend toward you.” What a profound statement one word can make in a marriage vow!

A covenant is a promise, not a prison. Marriage should never feel like shackles that hold back a person from excelling. Instead, it should be a relationship that provides the environment and atmosphere in which each of the partners can flourish and achieve their full potential both individually and collectively.

What we speak over our marriages matter—and that goes for when we reach milestone anniversaries and wish to renew our vows. If you, for whatever reason, missed the mark the first time, a vow renewal is the perfect time to be reminded of the promises you made at the beginning. Let your marriage vows speak life and love over your covenant. Let Christ, the ultimate Promise Keeper, be the the central focal point and watch your marriage flourish.

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church, which recently relocated to Macon, Ga. They are the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the former television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” ™ the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at wwwRoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com

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