The Christian, the covenant and the comatose

The relatives and friends are seated. The organ is playing tenderly while candles glimmer in the background. The bridal party is standing in place. The father has said, “Her mother and I.” The vocalist has just finished. The audience is silent. The minister speaks. “Please join hands and repeat after me.”

Anticipation moves into reality through the exchanging of vows. The man and woman make solemn promises before God, family and friends that they will “love, honor and cherish” one another until “death us do part.” By repeating vows and signing the license, a man and woman enter a covenant relationship that personifies all that God intended for marriage. Exchanged pledges also foresee those times of married life that are always more than that for which we bargained. The covenant anticipates those experiences of life in which marriage, with its unexpected twists and turns, reaches deeper, becomes more absorbing and pulls more out of us than we ever anticipated. “Worse,” “poorer” and “sickness” do happen. When a man and woman say, “I do,” they are vowing to each other before the Lord that they will stay together until one of them dies.

The Lord Jesus clearly taught what God expected when He said: “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:4-6 ESV). The marriage vow is the verbal expression of a lifelong commitment made in the mind and heart. That is God’s design. The richest fulfillment of the promise of marriage is anchored in that concept. When we say in the vow, “from this day forward,” we mean a lifetime. This promise is not made to be broken (Eccl. 5:4).

So, what is the meaning of being spiritual comatose? We are glad you asked! It appears, that we understand the importance of marriage being God ordained, but lose sight of the fact that He is a Spirit, and that they that worship Him, must do so in our spirit. The Word of God also states that is it is in Him (God), that we live, move and exist. To be spiritually comatose is the equivalent to being unconscious of our need to be spiritually connected to our life source as the governing authority in our marriages. Therefore, as the church is united with Christ, so woman and man become one. We walk up the aisle as two individuals—a man and woman separately. We come back down the aisle as one flesh—a shared identity. The covenant relationship the man and woman enter when they say their vows calls for total faithfulness.

So, then, how can we describe a spiritual coma as being practical to the marriage relationship? A partner in a comatose state has lost consciousness of God in their life. One becomes an inactive Christian, and is no longer involved in Christian service, or in fellowship with other believers. One or the other no longer reads the Bible or does any meditating on the Word. Having fallen spiritually asleep, this individual does not respond to the Word of God when he or she hears it. And the saddest and worst part of it all is that they, themselves, do not know how serious their condition is. They do not feel that anything is wrong with them. A comatose person is numb, and being spiritually numb is not a good place to be.

It’s not a good sign at all. Just like a physically comatose patient, the comatose Christian is in a most dangerous condition and needs immediate attention and urgent care. But what if, when it comes to marriage, the couple is not even be aware of the dreadful state they are in both spiritually and matrimonially? Our fellow Christians under covenant—please listen. Don’t be so quick to dismiss our words. Perhaps this may be true of you. Please examine yourself to see if you and your marriage are in a comatose state. Let’s first look honestly at the spirit man—our spiritual selves that should have a right relationship with God.

Was there a time when you used to be very spiritually responsive? Were you more conscious of God’s work in your life, and as a result, you served the Lord more passionately than you now do? Perhaps there was a point when you lived your life more fully for the Lord Jesus Christ than you do now. Perhaps, back then, you loved Him with all you heart, soul and mind, and your love for Him burned brightly. But as the years have passed and you’ve gotten more involved with the things of the world, your love has grown cold. Other things have crowded their way into your life and demanded your time and affections. And because of it all, you have lapsed deeper and deeper into a spiritual coma.

The same can, and often does, happen in the lives of married couples. Husbands, when you pursued her, you made her happiness a priority. You were the king of chivalry—opening her door, holding her hand, buying her flowers and always speaking to her in a tone that was kind and considerate. Wives, in the early days, you made the marriage home welcoming and inviting, you considered his suggestions and you treated him with love and respect.

Over time, it is easy to become complacent and to take blessings for granted. There is quote that states, “I remember the day when I prayed for the things I now have.” When many married people were single, they longed for that companionship; they sought God for a mate to walk by their side. Some made promises to God that if He would just fill that void and give them that special someone, they would honor that person, love that person, be faithful to that person, serve that person—so many promises that, if we are not careful and intentional—grow cold. As a result, our marriages become sick, frail and comatose.

There are couples that have been married for years, but their marriage has little or no life. What good it is to brag on being married 20, 30, 40, even 50 years or more, if the marriage is in a state of deep unconsciousness? It’s time to not only reunite with one another, but to also reconnect to the Giver of Life! The same God, who, at creation, breathed life into man and man became a living soul, will restore, renew, and revive a marriage that has gone unattended for a prolonged amount of time.

Our walk with God is far too important to our eternal existence to let it lapse into a comatose state, and our covenant with our spouse is far too important to our immediate life to allow it to do the same.

Let this be a caution—a proverbial “red flag”—for us to make sure of our calling and election by self-examination. By the same token, let’s have a reality check about our marriages. If any one of us comes to the realization that we have started to descend into a state of spiritual or matrimonial coma, make a determination not to let the process continue. Take measures immediately to snap out of it! Seek spiritual revival! Pursue matrimonial revival! Connect to the Almighty Lifeline before death creeps in and takes you to the point of no return.

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Byron, Georgia, the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships,” and guest hosts of the television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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