Springing forward in marriage

Ah, springtime! It’s a season favorite for many. With it comes relief from winter’s icy temperatures, the sounds of chirping birds and the colors of budding blossoms. In spring, life flourishes and flowers grow. But as gorgeous as spring may be, it doesn’t come without its challenges. Although the chill of winter is gone, for some, the watery eyes and runny noses continue to linger. And just as some are allergic to pollen from blossoming flowers, changes in relationships can cause some metaphoric sneezing and wheezing too. But that doesn’t have to mean we have no spring left.

What a wife did in her spring years, she may not be interested in doing as she matures into her fall years. A husband may have had one physical appearance in his summer years, but as he ages into his winter years, he may not look quite the same. This is the primary reason why marriage should never be based solely on something as shallow and fleeting as physical appearance.

It’s important we know and understand that changes of season in our ages doesn’t have to equate to a worn out, boring married life. Don’t let the irritants of seasonal life changes distract you from the big, beautiful picture that your covenant is intended to paint. Be intentional about keeping the spring in your union.

How can we make the season of springtime reflect continuously in our marriages? First, we should see our marriages as gifts from God. Gifts are a blessing and should never be taken for granted. Marriage is a manifestation of God’s Glory, a blessing for those who want to be together and grow in love. The gift of marriage is the grace to become love, by loving and being loved every day.

Marriage depends on more than relationship; it requires partnership. Beyond caring for one another, cultivating that partnership is what keeps the spring in marriage. Another word for partnership is “mutuality,” wherein respect for both parties is crucial and repeatedly demonstrated in loving ways. There are many expressions of partnership — physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

Spiritual partnership invites us to come back to the eternal moment in time and remember love is the true purpose of marriage. When we spring forward in marriage, we never stop experiencing hope, excitement and dreams. Spring can be felt in every stage of marriage, whether you’ve been married 60 seconds or 60 years. It happens when husbands and wives are unified, walking together in agreement (Amos 3:3). It’s a time of new life. Spring has cherished moments that are dipped in dreams and preserved in prayers.

Be guarded against things that will try to come between you to dry and whither your marriage. If you feel your marriage is in an unfruitful phase right now, take heart in knowing that with God, spring is never out of reach. With God, all things are possible. Talk to a pastor or counselor, read Bible-based books that build matrimonial bonds, attend marriage conferences that share fundamental truths based on Scripture.

Spring is the season of hope. Spring signifies coming out of the darkness. Most areas of the country have daylight savings time — we fall back an hour for half the year and spring forward during the other half. As of this past weekend, we tipped the balance from longer nights to longer days. May God bless all our marriages do the same.

As long as we have life in our bodies, we can have life in our covenants. By the time of the original printing of this article, God would have blessed the two of us to celebrate another wedding anniversary. March 15 marks another year of us working together in marriage, in ministry and in family. As a couple in our 50s, we may not be “spring chickens” as they say, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a spring marriage. Maybe we won’t do what we would have done as 20-something-year-olds, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a springtime celebration.

Remember, your marriage is what you make it! You never have to accept living in lackluster. God has given us the power of choice, and we can CHOOSE to make our covenants loving, harmonious, exciting and beautiful at every stage. Love like God says love, and experience a consistent “springing forward” in your marriage.

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Byron, Ga., the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the former television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” ™ the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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