Searching and finding

He had one of the sweetest smiles a man can have. I miss seeing it. His mind was full of serious searching questions. He was looking for answers. His heart was still shattered, after he and his wife unexpectedly lost one of their grown daughters a few years ago. His body was strong. Especially for having survived cancer and 79 years on this planet. His ways were gentle and his demeanor unassuming. And … he was my friend. But more than that, he was my brother in Christ and although it grieved me and I had to fight back the tears, it was my honor to stand and speak at his funeral. It still amazes me how this modest man, Fred (Freddy) Bieber, had such an immediate and significant impact on my life and on our church family … given the short time we knew each other.

Like many others who shared Fred’s life, his death has left me hurting, incomplete and searching. Searching for answers … searching for faith. Asking, expecting even, a good explanation. As if God owes us one?! Still … I am still searching. Searching for rhyme and reason in the madness and ugliness and untimeliness of death. I find myself yearning for answers to questions maybe I’m not supposed to ask? Is it wrong for a Christian to doubt, however briefly, to wonder if God is really running the show? If so, then why did this happen? Why did this man needlessly die? Why, just why?!

Maybe I am not supposed to talk this way … feel this way … write this way?! Maybe, this isn’t making much sense to you at all. Maybe you’ve never had these kinds of questions. But I do. And, I miss my friend. I miss this good, godly man. Like many of you, the older I get the more I hate death. I just hate it. Though I don’t want to be irreverent towards the Almighty, I think God is wise enough to understand that we finite creatures existing on a fallen planet sometimes need to vocalize our misery. We need to put words, however hollow, to our heartache. God graciously allows us to vent, to spew what John Piper calls, “wind words:” Words and exclamations of human brokenness that are not accusations against God, but pain-filled faith seeking to understand God and His purposes.

Since, I’ve drug you into my thought life, into my grief, without any background or explanation, let me back up and fill you in on a few details.

Fred Bieber came to visit our church in spring of last year. I’m really not sure what motivated him, or why he started attending in the first place. As I mentioned, Fred and his wife of 53 years, Yvonne, had to endure the unimaginable tragedy of losing a child. Perhaps it was that, or fighting off prostate cancer, or the reality that at 79 he didn’t have too many more circles around the sun left in him. I don’t know what prompted him to visit, but I do know him setting foot in church was an answer to prayer. You see, his sister has been a member of our church for many years. And for many years, she has been praying for her brother. Praying that he would think about eternity and what happens when we close our eyes for the final time.

Thankfully, her prayers were answered. Fred not only came to church, but given some time – he came to Christ. That is, he became a born-again believer. To use Bible language, Fred was saved, redeemed, regenerated and washed in the blood. Although he was already a moral man, by grace through faith in Christ, he became a new man.

But there’s an important detail that I haven’t mentioned, and it is this … before becoming a Christian, Fred had to first realize he wasn’t actually already a Christian. Let me explain: more than sixty-five ago, as a 10 or 11 year-old-boy, Fred (along with a friend) had “gone forward” at the end of a church service and “gotten saved.” Or at least, that is what the overeager evangelist told them. And, had you asked Fred during those six decades, he might’ve told you he was a Christian. The problem however, was that event in his life did not make a real and lasting change in him. In fact, by his own testimony, Fred didn’t set foot in church (apart from weddings and funerals) since that occasion. For most of his life, he had no interest in church, or prayer, or the Bible or God. Yet, someone had wrongly convinced him he was saved, when he really wasn’t.

BUT GOD … after a few months of attending our church, the Holy Spirit opened Fred’s eyes and caused him to see that childhood experience wasn’t true conversion, and that he needed to be saved. And saved he was. At the age of 79. Fred confessed saving faith in Christ and on the first Sunday of October 2022, I baptized him. What a wonderful occasion that was indeed!

From that day on, he was a “spiritual sponge.” Soaking up every ounce of Bible truth and doctrine he could lay his hands on. He spent hours reading his Bible. He

listened to dozens and dozens of sermons. He simply loved God and all things about God. And he loved his little church. And his little church loved him.

When he went in for minor surgery just a couple months ago, we all prayed for him. He was in great shape to be nearly 80, and this was seemingly a simple procedure. Little did we know, Fred would never come home again. Within a few short weeks, his health declined and he went from strong and independent, to rehab and then to ICU. Despite all our tearful prayers, Fred was taken. Too soon, far too soon, if you ask any of us.

However, amid all our brokenness and heartache and anger at his passing, still … I was able, with a clear conscience to stand at his funeral and say, with as much assurance as one can have … that Fred Bieber is now with Jesus. And friends, there simply isn’t anything on earth that can offer that same hope!

I don’t understand why his life was cut short. I don’t understand why God allowed this to happen. I don’t know why things like this happen to anyone, let alone God’s children? But this much I know, his funeral would have been far different had he not come to see his need of Christ, and cry out for mercy from the One True God who alone can save.

Maybe you, like Fred, had some childhood experience. Maybe many years ago you repeated a prayer after the preacher? Maybe you kneeled at an altar and asked Jesus in your heart? But friend, was it real? Were you genuinely saved? Did that event make a real and lasting change in you? If not, I urge you to examine your own soul. Heaven is too wonderful and eternity too long to die without Jesus. Maybe you have a family member who believes they’re a Christian, but you really don’t see any evidence. Keep praying. Friend, keep praying for them. God is able.

Fred Bieber died, but still he lives. For the Christian, to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord. Although I only got to spend a brief time with Fred here on earth, soon enough – we will be together forever!!

Is there someone you’re eager to see on the other side – already in heaven? Trust in Christ my friend, He is the Resurrection and the Life. Jesus has defeated death, hell and the grave and promises everlasting life to all who will trust in Him. Fred came to us searching. Thank the Lord he was found of Christ! And now, Fred has found all the answers he was looking for … in the wonderful face of Jesus the Messiah King.

HHJ News