Rating our Thanksgiving holiday

The appetizer: My wife and I went to Biloxi, Miss., for Thanksgiving to gamble. 

Aside from playing some poker with my Air Force buddies, I hadn’t gambled a day in my life. (Not even when I was in Las Vegas last year and was in an ocean of game machines.) 

My wife on the other hand loved to play the machines in the Rod and Gun Club when we were stationed in England. (She came home ecstatic one day when she had won $32 whole dollars!) 

She normally spends a trio of days preparing the Thanksgiving meal for everybody. I thought this time I would give her a break and a treat. (“Sorry kiddos. You’re on your on!”) 

The rating: One star. The Scarlet Pearl casino wooed us, teased us, promised us. Misled us. Suckered us! (“Oh. This is it! You’re on a winning streak now!”) 

It took all of our money, or about $300 of it that is.

The main course: We stopped at the Cracker Barrel in Evergreen, Ala., on Thanksgiving Day on our way down. 

We had the turkey meal, as if we had much of a choice. (“Wait? What! Where’s the rest of the menu?”)

The rating: Two stars. The meal was actually pretty good. (Minus the green beans that looked like somebody ran over them in the parking lot first.) 

The lower rating came from seeing all the seniors. (Not Cracker Barrel’s fault, obviously.) I mean a sea of senior citizens! (Us included, of course, but we chose this. I’m pretty sure all of those people weren’t headed to the Hard Rock, Harrah’s or the Margaritaville Resort.) 

I couldn’t help but think: “What’s up with their children that they would find this acceptable? “No way mom and dad! You’re spending Thanksgiving with us!”

Then there were the homeless, one on each of the four turns it took to get from the Interstate to the 500 or so yards it took to get to the restaurant. We helped two of them, but there it is again. 

Another sad commentary about who we are that on Thanksgiving Day probably a million pounds of food was thrown away, while not an ounce was for them.

The dessert: I had a lemon-filled donut Friday morning in the casino lounge, and a coffee.

The rating: One star. The donut was delicious. It was what came afterward. (Pretty sure the donut wasn’t the culprit. I still don’t know what was.) 

We went from the casino to Keesler Air Force Base where I had done my first training. While shopping at the base exchange, my armpits started itching, irritatingly at first, then severe. 

We got back out to my truck. I lifted my shirt and asked my wife, “Do I have a rash under there?” 

Her eyes went as wide as the ocean nearby: “Oh, my word! You’re broke out all over!”

Within 30 minutes I had welts over about 50 percent of my body. Itching? Oh Lawd, it itched! 

I took two Benadryl. We went back to the hotel and took a nap. When I woke up, it was all gone, every single trace. 

That night while I slept it came back with a vengeance! It was like every spot that didn’t break out the first time saw its opportunity to do so now. 

Two Benadryl later, it was gone again. (Vanished like that $20, no $40, no $60, in the Spin the Wheel machine.)

There was one more outbreak on the drive home and one that night when we got home and since – two days and counting – I’ve had no more instances. (Three tubes of various itch cream medicines later.) Gone.

Maybe because the head cold has taken its place, not that I’m complaining. I’m blessed compared to my wife. She caught it in the head and in the chest and she caught it bad! (With a doctor’s appointment Wednesday; I’m writing on Tuesday.)

P.S., my doc said she thought I had had an allergic reaction to something. You – and I – probably figured that, too, but I have no clue as to what.

Thanksgiving? What do I have to be thankful for? Well, just as a bare minimum, I’ll take the wisdom of the very-aged senior who passed by me as I sat on the bench outside the casino.

We made eye contact. He said, “How are you sir?”

I said, “I’m fine sir. How are you?”

He said, “Well, I’m still breathing. I have that.”

And so do I. I’ll give that a five-star Michelin Guide rating (the best of the best) any day!