Rate our judges … or not

You’ve heard of “Rate My Professor,” wherein students rate professors, sometimes unflatteringly? Well, later in this column, I’m going to rate our local superior and state court judges for temperament, intelligence, behavior, and timeliness. So hang on, it will be interesting. First, the Beatles. 

“Martha, My Dear.” This heartfelt song by Paul about his dog is an enduring, sweet, and lighthearted tune from the Beatle with the greatest range when it came to songs. This charming tune was entirely credited to Paul, who played all the instruments, although it is known that George played the final segment’s electric guitar, but he isn’t credited. Light and fluffy, but a fun song.

“I’m So Tired.” Classic John. Witty. Acerbic. Pitiful. Demanding. John wrote this in India at the camp where the Fabs were hanging with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. John had grown tired of meditating eight hours a day. Who wouldn’t? He had also grown weary of the Yogi’s false persona (according to John). John had suspicions about the Maharishi being less than authentic. So, he was tired of it all, but not too tired to be the sarcastic and piercing John.  

“Blackbird.” Paul’s overture to the civil rights movement the world over. The song can be applied to anyone’s struggle, but in 1968, Paul was talking about civil rights in America, where The Beatles perceived Blacks were suffering injustices, especially in the South. The Beatles weren’t big on endorsing anyone’s cause (see “Revolution”), but they did write songs as their contribution to causes they supported. “Blackbird” appears simple but is actually a complex song, inspired by Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Bourrée in E Minor,” a piece Paul and George had tried to learn as teenagers. The finger picking was something he learned from “Mellow Yellow” Donovan. Again, the internal strife within the band led Paul to being the solo artist on this sweet serenade. 

“Piggies.” As a follow-up to “Taxman,” this was meant to be a comical look at the English class system, George’s tune was used for evil instead. Charles Manson used the song as part of his crazed view of race relations, and his followers referred to “Pigs” repeatedly, in blood, on the walls at the scenes of the Tate/LaBianca murders. All Beatles contributed to the song, and George’s mom gave us the lyric “What they need’s a d*** good whacking,” referring to the politicians of the time.

“Rocky Raccoon.” When you are the most powerful, influential, and followed band in history, you get to do things your way. Such is “Rocky Raccoon.” A country and western song at heart, with McCartney’s comical southern drawl at play, it brought in a host of characters like Rocky, and a lady named “Magill, and she called herself Lil, and everyone knew her as Nancy,” a drunk doctor, a shooter named Dan, and the famous “I.M. Able” (my frequent pseudonym at fast food restaurants, along with George P. Burdell). Paul tells the whole sordid story in 3:33. 

“Don’t Pass Me By.” Simple but authentic Ringo, this is his first written track on an album. Ringo is at home alone, waiting on his love, who is standing him up. Maybe. There’s also a line about a car crash and losing hair. He misses her so, whatever the cause. It’s a simple chord progression and a simple tune, but that was Ringo. 

“Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” One of the few rhetorical songs in The Beatles’ catalog, Paul wrote this in India after watching monkeys do it in the road. The growth of the band in a mere five years, from “I Want To Hold Your Hand” to doing it in the road isn’t lost on me. The range of songs on this album is amazing. However, the fracturing band was not happy. Only Paul and Ringo played on this as George and John were working on “Glass Onion” and “Piggies” in a different studio, unaware of Paul’s song being recorded. 

“I Will.” Another Paul love song, and he wrote a bunch of them, “I Will” is classic Paul. Is it about a lover? “Who knows how long I’ve loved you, You know I love you still.” Or an imaginary lover? “For if I ever saw you, I didn’t catch your name.” Love songs are effortless with Paul, his lyrics just flow: “Love you forever and forever, Love you with all my heart, Love you whenever we’re together, Love you when we’re apart.” Its quiet closing leads perfectly into “Julia.”

“Julia.” John’s gorgeous song about his mother, who died tragically before John’s success. This is John’s only solo work on any Beatle song, as he sang and played acoustic guitar; something Paul first did all the way back to “Yesterday.” This was also the last song recorded for the White Album. His repetitive calling of his mother’s name made for a haunting, yet sweet, longing for his mother from a lost young man. John said her sudden death was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

That closes Side Two of The Beatles. Sides Three and Four will be reviewed in future columns.

I’m not going to rate the judges. Do you think I’ve gone insane? I might have cancer, but I’ve not lost my senses.

Kelly Burke, retired attorney, former district attorney and magistrate judge, writes about the law, rock ’n’ roll, and politics or anything that strikes him. Follow Kelly’s advice at your own peril. Contact Kelly at dakellyburke@gmail.com to comment on this article or suggest articles that you’d like to see, and visit his website at www.kellyrburke.com to view prior columns.

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