Nine’s a crowd: The Bemises take on life with a full house

PERRY, Ga. — In Disney’s “Lilo and Stitch,” Stitch eloquently stated, “Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten.” As the foster care system becomes ever more crowded with children seeking guidance and a source of love, one Perry couple has made it their mission to provide a solid foundation for their (larger than average) family.

Stephen and Samantha Bemis have been taking kids in need under their wing for a number of years now, and even with their captivating family story, their relationship also has interesting origins.

“Stephen and I have actually known each other since high school, but we ran in two different circles,” Samantha said. “The crazy thing about it is, my younger brother is the same age as him, and his older sister is the same age as me.”

After some time, they reconnected through social media and went on their first date in March 2016. In July, they were engaged.

“The day before we got married, we were going through family pictures of Stephen’s with his sister and his cousins, and we actually found a picture of me in his family pictures,” Samantha said. “So, it’s kind of like, ‘this is where we’re supposed to be.’”

October of that same year came, and the two were married. Samantha added that it was like they were meant to be, as both of their mother’s families settled in the same town in Missouri, both of their dads are named Stephen, her mom is named JoAnn and his sister is named JoAnn.

Samantha said that three days into dating, she told Stephen about one of her goals in life: fostering, and potentially adopting, children.

The Dave Pelzer book “A Child Called ‘It’” inspired Samantha to step up and want more for kids in need. Stephen felt the same, and happened to know someone in the past that had a positive experience with their foster family.

“If I could be the light for somebody, for a child, and to give them hope, I wanted to be able to do that because there’s so many kids out here that don’t have that light,” she said. “It was something I always dreamed of doing.”

Come February 2017, they began their first classes on the road to becoming foster parents.

Along the way and before fostering their first child that October, they decided to have just one child between the ages of 4 and 10. They’ve gone on to help much more than one child since that time, with nine currently at the Bemis household.

“We have had 26 loves in our life,” Samantha said. ” … We said we weren’t going to take babies, and we said we weren’t going to take teenagers — and then we came to find that teenagers are some of the ones that get the least amount of attention. Watching them grow is the most rewarding.”

She said one of the boys came to them facing health struggles, past issues with biological family, was out of school for two years and even faced anxiety to the point where, at first, he wasn’t able to go out to eat in public with the family. Now, that son has seen major progress in his schoolwork, loves to chat with everyone he comes across and even goes on some calls with Stephen in their other family venture: Roadrunner Towing of Perry.

“My husband has been towing since he was 16 or 17 years old, and that’s what one of his dreams was; it was actually one of the first things we talked about when we started dating,” Samantha said. “We were able to bring that dream to life, and then watching the kids get to work it with us and him get to live his dream is pretty amazing.”

Samantha then broke down what a normal day would look like for the family, adding that they’re also on call with their towing company 24/7.

She said a normal day typically begins with her and Stephen waking up between 5-6 a.m. to dress and feed the kids. At one time, they were taking kids to Tucker Elementary, Perry Middle and Perry High schools.

“We would do one trip first to the high school and middle school, and then my husband would come back and get Olivia to go to the elementary school — all while I was getting the littles ready for school, because on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the littles go to Mothers’ Morning Out at Church in the Park. So, we’d end up doing at least three runs.”

Keep in mind, during all of this, the Bemises are still answering phone calls for the towing company.

“Once you get the big kids to school, then it’s the little kids, and you still want them to have some interacting time, so we do arts and crafts,” Samantha added.

During the day while Stephen is away at work, Samantha works from home. Lunch is at noon, naps are at 1 p.m. and the Bemises are off to pick up the older kids from school. Of course, as you’d maybe expect, their day doesn’t stop there.

“It’s ROTC practice for one child, it’s Raiders Team for another,” Samantha said. “One would go to wrestling, and one would go to boxing. In between all that, you still have a weekly therapy for all children that are in foster care.”

A specialist comes by once a week to meet with the kids still going through court cases, and the Bemises have to keep on top of scheduling appointments for eye checkups, doctor visits and check-ins from parents.

Raising a family like this one is oftentimes a group effort, as Samantha described, mentioning the story of them once getting a call about a newborn baby and a 15-month old brother needing help. The Bemises spoke on it, not sure if they were ready for that particular challenge.

Receiving the call that morning at 11 a.m. and having to pick up the kids from the hospital at 2 p.m., they had to make a decision quick. Having no diapers, beds or bottles, they called upon their family and church for help.

“We have an amazing village,” Samantha said. ” … By the time we got home at about 6 p.m., my mom and dad were there, and people had dropped off two baby beds, changing tables, diapers, clothes, we had already gotten a carseat — everything that we possibly needed for a baby and a 15-month old.”

Someone also delivered meals, as volunteers were putting together baby beds and more, assisting in the new adventure for the Bemis household.

“It’s harder now, but we’ve also got the older kids, and they help a lot with the younger kids,” Samantha said. “My mom, she comes and get the littles: they’re all her grandbabies. [From there] we can go do stuff with the big kids.

“[When] my husband and I need a night out, we’ve got an amazing babysitter. … It’s all about your village, and there’s no way we could have done what we did over the years without the amazing village that we had.”

While the holiday season was somewhat chaotic for the Bemis household, Samantha said it was a great time being together with the entire family. She added that developing the kids’ core memories is a priority for her and Stephen.

“[The kids] said it’s not about the presents, it’s about the family time,” she added. “We were just able to be together, have fun, love on each other and play games. I can’t even explain how amazing it is to watch 11 people enjoy each other, have fun together and laugh.”

The Bemis crew includes: T.K., 19; Gilly, 17; brothers Rowdy, 16, and Chandler, 15; Caleb, 16; Olivia, 9; twins Ivan and Carter, 4; and Jessi, 3.

The coming year will be one of new experiences for the Bemis family. Rowdy and Gilly will be participating in the Raiders competitions with their high school here soon, T.K. will be attending Georgia Southern, Chandler is interested in a career in welding and will be taking co-op classes, Caleb will be diving into mechanical work and the four boys will be getting their driver’s licenses.

Are you interested in becoming a foster parent? Samantha advised to be patient, as the process can be overwhelming but quite rewarding.

Expect a variety of preparation classes, paperwork, background checks, home inspections, drug tests, financial checks and more.

“As foster parents, we have to have 15 hours of training every year, on different topics to make sure we stay up to date, because every child that comes in to your house, you will have to deal with differently,” Samantha said.

Certain precautions need to be in place like electric outlet covers as well as fire and tornado evacuation plans. Do you have guns in the house? Samantha said you’ll need to have two separate safes: one for your guns and one for your ammunition.

“I think this is important because every child needs to know they’re safe when they’re in a foster home, because they’ve already been through so much trauma,” Samantha said.

During the next year, the Bemises plan to get away and take a cruise to the Bahamas, experiencing scuba diving, snorkeling and more.

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