Living between two identities in marriage

The gap between the natural and the spiritual has been an identity issue of discussion for centuries. Yet, if you—like we—believe that God is the Author of the biblical narrative, and if we are to find ourselves in it, we must believe that the details of our lives reflect something of the nature of God and His intention for the purpose of our lives. This means that our lives are revelatory. The extent of that is discovered and understood in the light of God’s truth, and it is the measure by which the mystery of our personhood and God’s intention for our lives is revealed. That includes the life of our marriages.

When it comes to the bonds of holy matrimony, Mark 10:8 states that the two shall become one. As husbands and wives, we should work in harmony as we search for God’s divine purpose for our unions.

If we begin this search for spiritual identity and significance with God, He will give us both revelation and illumination along the way. On more than one occasion, the Bible tells us so. “You are the fountain of life, the light by which we see” (Psalm 36:9, NLT). “Send forth your light and your truth—let them guide me” (Psalm 43:3, TLV). “But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth” (John 16:13, NIV).

The book of Ephesians is a beneficial starting point in this search for identity because it reveals that our existence and purpose have been the focus of God’s dedicated attention and intense interest even “before the foundation of the world” (Ephesians 1:4).

Our existence was not our own idea! We were thoughtfully created by our Heavenly Father, who desired to bestow spiritual blessings upon us through which He could be glorified. The way we function in every area of our lives, including our marriages, our families, our careers, as well as our churches, should please and glorify God.

If covenant couples simply understood that the perspective they have on their married lives can be changed, molded and explained through the Word of God, the world can be a better place for all. It could put an end to the fights, wars and daily quarrels. We would see love, peace and joy unimaginable! The prerequisite, however, is that we see things from a perfect perspective, namely GOD’S. He is all-wise and all-knowing. His perspective is perfect, and it is of the utmost importance to our eternal salvation.

The difference between a natural and spiritual identity is this. A spiritual identity is one in whom the Holy Spirit lives due to a person’s profession of faith in Jesus Christ alone to rescue them from the power and consequences of disobedience to God.

At one time or another, every one of us has been separated from God and without hope in this world because of sin. But because of Jesus, we who were spiritually dead have been made spiritually alive in Him. This is the difference that faith in Christ makes. It is a change on the inside. It is a change of heart as well as a change of destiny and destination. It is a change of desire and a change of mind.

Simply put, the natural person manages according to a sinful human-centered mindset and heart, but the spiritual person functions according to a holy Christ-centered mindset and heart. A couple that is Spirit-filled can respond favorably to the will and desires of God, while the carnal-minded couple will constantly be at odds with the will of God.

Romans 8:5-8 (AMP) says it like this: “For those who are living according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh [which gratify the body], but those who are living according to the Spirit, [set their minds on] the things of the Spirit [His will and purpose]. Now the mind of the flesh is death [both now and forever—because it pursues sin]; but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace [the spiritual well-being that comes from walking with God—both now and forever]; the mind of the flesh [with its sinful pursuits] is actively hostile to God. It does not submit itself to God’s law, since it cannot, and those who are in the flesh [living a life that caters to sinful appetites and impulses] cannot please God.”

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Warner Robins, Ga., the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and the founders of the faith-based newspaper, The Royal Trumpet. W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” TM the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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