Lie Detector

We have all seen a movie in which, in the distant future, a person’s mind is scanned to determine what happened. There is an excellent series called Black Mirror that has a couple of such episodes. They will dramatize the procedure by showing us a video of the events as seen by the person. Pretty cool. What if I told you that very thing was accomplished here in the USA a century ago! It’s true. Well, kinda sorta. 

Dr. John Larson invented such a mind-reading machine in 1921 and its been used ever since for employment matters, private investigations, and sometimes, police inquiries. It’s called a polygraph machine (slang is “lie detector”) and it is absolutely worthless. Sorry, Beverly, and all the other well-meaning polygraphers who can seemingly justify their trade. Your profession is an invaluable tool to law enforcement, but it’s simply unscientific gobbledygook. 

No court in the U.S., 100+ years later, allows a polygraph result to be admissible in court, unless the person being examined was dumb enough to agree to it. Why? It is all a bunch of hooey. I’m not going into the science of it, because there is no science to it. As District Attorney, I saw people pass a polygraph and then plead guilty to a 20-year prison sentence when video evidence showed them doing what they said they didn’t. It happened repeatedly.

The best use is when the offender is interviewed after the exam and asked how they did. They will sometimes admit they lied and tell what they did. Some will be told they did miserably, even when they “passed,” and then they’ll admit their guilt. The cop deception is totally legal, although maybe unfair, but being stupid has consequences. The deception’s success is as dependable as a Timex. 

A personal story. I was accused of something when I was DA. The GBI was asked to investigate. The agent called me and asked if I would take a poly. I am many things, but not stupid. I laughed and asked if they were crazy. I explained that the only thing that would happen is that they’d interrogate me and say I lied, and I’d say I didn’t. Heck no, I won’t take a polygraph! They closed the investigation, possibly because there were three witnesses who said I didn’t do what I was accused of doing. Strange how that works.

I’ll briefly mention work-related uses. Employers can use polygraph exams if the use is laid out in an employment contract. I don’t care for it. If my boss is dumb enough to rely on a polygraph, I choose not to be dumb enough to work there. 

I like the “memory-sucking” movies and TV series. Star Trek has the Vulcan “mind meld” that let Spock put ideas in others’ heads, which has a lot of cool possibilities. But that is fantasyland. As are polygraphs.

Kelly Burke was born in Knoxville where he spent his younger years, followed by high school years in Atlanta where he graduated from Georgia Tech. He then graduated from Mercer Law School. He has been in private practice, a magistrate judge, and an elected district attorney. He writes about the law, politics, music and Ireland. He and his wife enjoy gardening, playing with their Lagotto Ramanolo named George Harrison, and spending time with their grandchildren.