Judge Lukemire war stories

Houston Superior Court Judge Edward D. Lukemire is retiring. Called Eddie by his family, and Ed by the Bar, he was always Judge Lukemire in the courthouse. He has served as our superior court judge for 30 years with distinction, professionalism, and integrity. 

I was elected to replace him when he left the district attorney position to fill the then-vacant superior court slot created by Buster McConnell’s retirement. Ed cruised to a crushing win over several notable local attorneys. He never had opposition after that, because who wants to get crushed?

Ed has a gruff reputation, which he probably planted, but in all my years as DA and then in private practice, he never displayed having a mean bone in his body—unless you’ve been convicted of a heinous crime against a child. You don’t want to be in front of him for that. 

While he and I never knocked heads, we disagreed more than once. But it was never personal. It was just a difference of opinion about the law. That’s what judges do, they interpret the law as they understand it. And Ed understands the law as well as any judge I’ve ever appeared before. Enough with the accolades, let’s get to a few stories. 

Ed was presiding over a drug trial. It was a real scrum of a trial, with one Atlanta attorney who was not bound by normal decorum. The county drug investigators were the main witnesses. Affectionately known as the Fat Boys, they were large gentlemen, but their testifying on the stand was wonderful. 

On the second day of the trial, I was in the courtroom early when the jury brought in a box of doughnuts and handed it to me. I said I couldn’t accept them but they said the box of doughnuts weren’t for me, it was for the investigators. She wouldn’t take them back. So I went into chambers and told Ed and opposing counsel what had happened. He immediately said I had to return them. 

I said, “No sir, you return them. I’m trying to win the case and I’m not going to insult the jury.” Everyone laughed. Ed let the court staff enjoy the doughnuts, and he told the jury why I couldn’t accept the doughnuts. 

Ed ran a punctual courtroom. After a case had gone to the jury, there was a complicated resolution offered. The victims’ mothers didn’t know what to do. I understood, but I was doing my best to satisfy them. 

Ed’s bailiff, Leon Martin, kept knocking on my conference room door telling me that Judge Lukemire was waiting. Finally, I told Leon to tell Ed to cool his jets, as I’d be out when I was out. Leon said he would tell Ed what I had said. The victims accepted the plea offer shortly thereafter. I never asked if Leon told Ed what I had said. 

One time I tried a child molestation trial. All are awful but this one was hyper bad. The jury came back with a guilty verdict, and they stayed for sentencing! Ed sentenced the defendant on Count One to 20 years, but only 5 years in prison. Fifteen years of sex offender probation, fines, and such. 

The defendant turned to his attorney and said “Five years, I can do that.” She wisely said “I don’t think he’s done.” Ed then gave him multiple all-serve sentences, to run consecutive, to that first count. I think it was 115 years in prison total. Well deserved. 

One time I was doing my closing argument in a three-man murder trial. It was the longest closing argument I ever did. By the end I was sweating bullets, thinking that the bright lights were causing my dripping sweat. 

When I got done, Ed told us to approach the bench. He said that maintenance would have the air conditioning going in about an hour, so he was going to let the jury go until then. I said I thought it was my brilliant closing that made me so hot. He said sorry, it wasn’t that at all, he didn’t want to interrupt me. 

Last story out of hundreds. I had a case in which a police officer was shot in the line of duty. I had three different police videos synchronized together, no small feat back then. Each officer testified, and I showed their patrol video. 

Then I tried to introduce the synched video. The defense objected. Ed ruled it was cumulative (he was right), and ruled I couldn’t play it. I objected. He asked for my reason. I said, “it’s a cool video.” He agreed, but said it is a “cool inadmissible” video. 

Ed was always a great judge to try a case in front of. He made decisions quickly, didn’t tolerate a bunch of whining, and trials moved quickly. I don’t recall a trial case getting overturned on appeal because of a mistake he made. 

Despite his no-nonsense reputation, he was always approachable about anything, whether it was court or personal issues. I hope he sticks around as a senior judge but only after he dispenses with grandchildren duties first. Congratulations, Judge Lukemire, on a job well done.

Kelly Burke was born in Knoxville where he spent his younger years, followed by high school years in Atlanta where he graduated from Georgia Tech, and Mercer Law School. He has been in private practice, a magistrate judge, and an elected district attorney. He writes about the law, politics, music, and Ireland. He and his wife enjoy gardening, playing with their Lagotto Ramanolo named George Harrison, and spending time with their grandchildren. To see this column or Kelly’s archives, visit www.kellyrburke.com. You can email Kelly at dakellyburke@gmail.com.