I went to jail, kind of

About a week ago, I sent a text to my family group chat that said, “I went to jail.”

“Why?” My dad asked back.

“Here goes… I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes in the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding! Also I have unpaid parking tickets,” I said. (Bonus points if you know what movie that’s from.)

“Brie you just scared us all,” my mom said.

The real reason I ended up in jail wasn’t for breaking the law; thanks to the Leadership Perry program, I still maintained a clean record and got a look at the slammer.

Every month, our class has a themed day where we visit and learn about several locations that are important to Houston County’s operations. 

This month, we had Houston County Day. We visited the landfill, the sheriff’s office training center, had lunch with Commissioner Chairman Dan Perdue, and toured the jail.

We were “sentenced” to jail for two hours: but luckily, we got out a half-hour early for good behavior.

When we arrived at the jail, it was a hot afternoon and I have a low tolerance for heat. As I walked into the building I felt dizzy. I attribute my seemingly random observations and thoughts while touring the detention center to my ‘altered’ state of mind.

Side note: we were instructed to dress conservatively. I wore a blue jumpsuit like some of the inmates, but mine had flowers on it.

Our first stop was the courtroom. While everyone sat in the audience section, I sat right where the plaintiff would sit. I felt like a lawyer.

Next, we entered the intake room, where we encountered a full-body scanner.

“I could handle that,” I thought. “I’ve been through airport security.”

I gazed into space while watching a TV and learning about the holding cells. We also observed a restraint chair.

“I wonder how much I could pay someone to wheel me around in this,” I thought.

We visited a room where the clothes and belongings of the inmates were kept.

“This guy got arrested in a suit!” I said.

Beds were also along the back wall of this room.

“Can I snag a few of those for my apartment?” I asked.

Another intake area had a ‘padded’ holding cell and showers. I waltzed into the padded cell.

“This isn’t even padded.” I said.

I smacked the wall. Not my finest moment.

“You might want to wash your hands,” our tour guide said.

With no sink nearby, I used hand sanitizer and refrained from touching my face for the rest of the day.

During our tour, we made various stops including the kitchen, “outdoor” recreation areas, and a tunnel that leads to the courthouse. We also visited an empty cell block where inmates eat, sleep, and shower. 

I entered one of the cells, but my claustrophobia quickly overwhelmed me. I could barely stay in there for a minute by myself. I can’t imagine spending 18 hours a day in there with a roommate.

“I’m normally an extrovert, but I think I would be an introvert if I went to jail,” I said.

After visiting the detention center, I oddly had a good time learning about it and taking a tour, even though it was a jail. Although I have no desire to go back, it definitely changes my perspective when I write, “So-and-so is currently held at the Houston County Detention Facility.”

And if you’re curious, the reference I texted my dad was from the movie “Liar Liar.” Jim Carrey’s character, a lawyer and compulsive liar, gets cursed to speak only the truth on a day when he has a crucial divorce case to win.