How to raise a crook

With the good life that many people have in prison these days, there should be some type of course taught that would help to prepare those who have an interest to get in. Hopefully you realize this is a facetious statement because no self-respecting person wants to wind up in prison, and parents who love their children do not want to see them go wrong and find themselves in some prison to spend a good part of their lives.

Most certainly, those of us who love our children want the best futures for them to become productive, responsible and law abiding citizens. While this is just common sense, apparently, a lot of people do not realize their own attitudes and behavior contribute to the possibility of one or more of their children winding up in prison.

Have you ever said to yourself, “If only?” “If only I had not married that man or that woman.” “If only I had paid more attention to my teachers in school.” “If only I would have been more careful who I ran around with.” “If only I had listened to what my parents were trying to teach me.” When we really get serious about it, a lot of people go through life with their “if only.”

Let me share with you this week, “How To Raise A Crook,” that was printed several years ago in the Presbyterian Journal. If you are a parent or someone who is in a position to influence the values, morals and character of young people, you will benefit from reading this because much of what we learn comes from others.

If you want to raise a crook, begin from infancy by giving the child everything they want because this way, they will grow up believing that the world owes them a living.

When they pick up bad words, laugh at them because it will encourage them to pick up “cuter” phrases that will blow the top of your head off.

Never give them any spiritual training. Wait until they are 21 and then let them decide for themselves.

Avoid the use of the word “wrong” because they may develop a guilt complex. This will condition them to believe, later, when they are arrested for stealing a car, that society is against them and that they are being persecuted.

Pick up anything they leave lying around whether it be books, shoes or clothing. Do everything for them so that they will be experienced in throwing the responsibility onto others.

Let them read any printed matter they can get their hands on. Be careful the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized but let their minds feed on garbage.

Be sure to quarrel frequently in the presence of your children so they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up.

Give the child all the spending money they want. Never let them earn their own money because they should not have to have things as tough as you have had them.

Satisfy their every need for food, drink and comfort because denial may lead to harmful frustrations.

Take their part against the neighbors, teachers and the policemen because they all are prejudicial against your child.

When your children get into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, “I never could do anything with them.”

If you wish to raise a crook, these suggestions should help you to do that.

They who educate children well are more to be honored than those who produce them; for those only gave them life, this is the art of living well. (Aristotle)

HHJ News