Did President Taft really get stuck in his bathtub?

Two months in!

We have made it two whole months into 2021, and the world hasn’t fallen apart yet.

Well, not any more than it already has, anyway.

Who knows what the future holds? Fans of old-time radio shows already know what the answer is …

“The Shadow knows!”

Sadly, the Shadow doesn’t seem to want to share any information with me. So I guess I’m going to have to move along into this week’s trivia, then.

After all, it’s what you stop in here each week for anyway, right? Not my allegedly witty introductions to the column.

So on to the trivia!

Did you know …

… the first novel ever written on a typewriter was Tom Sawyer? It was written entirely on an early-model typewriter by Mark Twain (born Samuel Clemens, 1835-1910). (Since the typewriter was so new, I wonder what Twain used instead of White-Out when he made a typing error?)

… only three percent of Americans prefer their hot dogs plain? (I don’t necessarily prefer them plain, but I do know that where I come from – Chicago – it’s almost illegal to put ketchup on one.)

… a Florida man was charged with assault after throwing an alligator at someone? In 2016, Joshua James (born 1992) was being handed a beverage at a drive-thru window at a Wendy’s in Palm Beach County, Florida. For some unknown reason, James reportedly threw a live 3.5-foot-long alligator back through the window and drove off. James was promptly charged with assault with a deadly weapon, possession of an alligator and petty theft. Not to mention, James was banned from all Wendy’s fast-food restaurants nationwide. (I don’t think there’s anything I can add to this story that makes it any funnier, or more bizarre.)

… some historians think that Tsar Alexander I of Russia did not die when history claims he did? In the 19th century’s version of a conspiracy theory, it is said that when Alexander (born Aleksandr Pavlovich Romanov, 1777-1825) went to the Crimea in 1825, contracted typhus and died, it was all a plot to give up the throne and lead the life of a monk. Believers think Alexander “became” Fyodor Kuzmich (?-1864), a Russian Orthodox saint who bore a striking resemblance to the Tsar and even had almost identical handwriting. Soviet history says that when Alexander’s tomb in the Peter and Paul Fortress in Petrograd was opened in 1921 in a search for valuable metals, it was empty. (Insert “Twilight Zone” theme here.)

… a popular story about our 27th president is not true? According to legend, President William H. Taft (1857-1930) had no end of embarrassment one day at the White House when he became stuck in the bathtub and had to be helped out. Taft, who at the time of his presidency stood six feet tall and weighed about 350 pounds, was a pretty big boy, but the story—while amusing—is not true. Taft had had a special extra-sized bathtub made for him while he was overseeing construction of the Panama Canal, and when he was elected president in 1908, he had the monstrosity installed in the White House. The popular tale about Taft getting stuck in the tub came about when the daughter of a maid at the White House gave a secondhand account in a memoir, but the only problem with that tale is that the writer’s mom didn’t work at the White House until 10 years after Taft had left office. Taft did not let his size deter him. If a bathtub wasn’t big enough for his ample frame, he’d just take a shower.

… Mickey Mouse wears gloves for a reason? Created by Walt Disney (1901-1966), Mickey wears gloves because it was easier to animate his hands that way. Also, as an aside, Disney reportedly said that he didn’t want Mickey to have “mouse hands,” so giving him gloves made sense. (And here I thought it was because Mickey had some sense of style.)

… the comical villains in Batman have real identities? You know them – the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, Catwoman, Two-Face, the Mad Hatter and more – but behind each character is a “real” person, at least in the DC Comics universe. The Riddler’s real name is Edward Nygma; the Penguin is Oswald Cobblepot; Catwoman is Selina Kyle; Two-Face is Harvey Dent; and the Mad Hatter is Jervis Tetch, to name but a few. The only one whose back-story does not include a real name is the Joker. In the 1989 film, “Batman,” starring Michael Keaton (born 1951), the Joker – played by Jack Nicholson (born 1937) – is given the back-story name of Jack Napier, but that is not considered comic canon and is usually ignored in sketches of the Joker’s history. (You always wondered about that, didn’t you? I know I did.)

… whales are not able to swim backward? (Well, they do have one up on me – I can’t even swim forward.)

… you may be a poor sufferer of iatrophobia? It’s the fear of doctors. (Of course, you could also be a rich sufferer of iatrophobia, since you would still have the money you’d otherwise spend on doctors.)

… the current federal tax code is 74,608 pages long? By comparison, the code issued in 1913 was only 400 pages long. (Proof that the government can mess anything up.)

… alcoholic beverages can be good for you? Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life. (Now they tell me.)

… in the average lifetime, a person will breathe in about 44 pounds of dust? (And they’ll breathe it right back out, too, I hope.)

Now … you know!

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