Developing a teachable spirit in marriage

There is a quote floating around social media that says, “A teachable spirit is being willing to be a student in any area you lack, to seek out knowledge and truth, in order to grow in humility, wisdom and excellence.” If we want to have extraordinary relationships, teachable spirits are not optional.

A good way for each of us to consider the evolution of our spousal relationships is to compare it to a garden. Nothing that grows in a garden develops on its own. Gardens need organization, nurturing, and the right environment. As married Christians, when we’re intentional about the growth of our covenants, we come to realize that we’re on a mission every single day to put in the effort to make it happen.

Whether we are teachable is not as much about skill or understanding theologies as it is our attitudes. The bulk of what we truly need in order to learn rests in our desire and our willingness to listen and apply. If we want our marriages to reach the heights that God intends, we must adopt an attitude for that kind of latitude.

A teachable spirit starts with the acknowledgement that we do not know everything. “Behold, I will do a new thing;” says Isaiah 43:19. It doesn’t matter how many degrees we’ve earned; we should all be open to the new lessons that only the Holy Spirit can impart. If we can keep an open mind, we can learn a lot from the people that God has placed in our lives. That includes our husbands and wives.

“But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them, and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means” (1 Corinthians 2:10-14, NLT).

Let’s learn the magnitude of receiving the Word of God with readiness, just as the Bereans did in the Bible. When Paul taught, they were diligent in looking at and reflecting on the Scriptures for themselves.

“These were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so” (Acts 17:10-11).

This will play an essential part in our developing and maintaining a teachable spirit. It’s not enough to hear a message; we should do a deep study to truly understand the message and context. Then, perhaps, follow up with leaders who are trusted scholars if we need clarification.

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until the full day. The way of the fool is like a deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble” (Prov. 4:8-9).

As married believers—especially those of us who attend church on a regular basis—we hear Scriptures like these being quoted all the time, but until we apply what’s being said to our current day lives—including our married lives—the words from the Bible can be just as ineffective as words from any other book.

As husbands and wives, when we develop and maintain a teachable spirit, we allow our marriages to be enriched and enhanced in ways unimaginable.

Are you teachable? Do you selfishly demand to have it “my way or no way” or are you willing to listen to your spouse, consider their perspective and be open to new possibilities that can take your relationship to new heights without taking you out of the will of God? Being teachable is an essential quality that can help develop a harmonious, prosperous and healthy marriage.

Remember… the pitfall of a fool is to be so wise in his own eyes that he is unteachable.

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church, which recently relocated to Macon, Ga. They are the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the former television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” ™ the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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