Bad cashier

I was initially ambivalent about self-checkout lanes at the big box stores. Seemed like a time-saving move for me and a cost-saving tool for the store. I’ve never felt the urge to use the self-checkout when I had more than a few items, and I’ve never had a problem. But problems do exist.

Let’s say you head to Big Box Retailer and do your shopping. You choose the self-checkout because there is only one cashier checkout available, so you are herded into the self-checkout lanes where you scan all 87 items in your cart, pay the bill, and head toward the door. Suddenly, store security is swarming all over you, and a police officer appears. Security examines your receipt and points out that the sliced ham and asparagus in your cart are not on your receipt. You profusely apologize and offer to pay for the items, saying the machine must have missed those things. Despite the $167 tab you paid, the Big Box Retailer has you arrested and charged with shoplifting. To add insult to injury, the police include that you had three vapes and two blister packs of anti-nausea medication, Zofran, in your purse. Why?

Your arrest makes the local tabloids, you are forced to resign from your job, and your name is sullied. All because you didn’t hear the beep indicating the item was scanned, yet you proceeded on. Your life is upended because you decided to play cashier without the requisite training. A year later, Big Box agreed to a dismissal of charges upon payment for items and a banning notice. Problem solved. Next.

Well, it may be over for them, but not for you. Yet, at that point, there is little you can do. 

Number 1: Don’t use self-checkout. If Big Box is going to criminalize your cashier abilities, make them do it instead, like the old days.

Number 2: Were I the District Attorney, I’d start a program in which Big Box can ban such a customer, but absent a repeat offender, no arrest. I may not be able to enforce discretion, but my take is society need not participate in the madness. I guess I’m getting soft, but hammering people for something Big Box could have avoided doesn’t seem fair. That’s my take.

Kelly Burke, attorney, former district attorney, and magistrate judge, writes about the law, rock’n’roll, politics, or anything that strikes him. Contact Kelly at dakellyburke@gmail.com to comment on this article or suggest articles you’d like to see, and visit his website at www.kellyrburke.com.