A time to kill or be killed (or at least be annoyed)

Here is a scenario that many of us have encountered at least once, if not multiple times, in life: while enjoying a pleasant day outside or during the performance of yard work around the house your leisure or activity is interrupted by a sharp, burning pain.

Instinctively you react, inspecting your body for the source of this discomfort and discover that you have unknowingly disturbed a mound of fire ants and the insects have responded, attacking full force the hand, foot or other unlucky body part that had breached their sanctum.

In fit and fury you swat away the invaders, shaking your arms and legs in a fashion more fitting to someone trying to dance while over imbibed or had just caught the Holy Ghost. But the damage is already done. You leave the battle with a few, possibly dozens, of little venom filled wounds that will leave you slightly swollen, itchy and annoyed for a few days.

Fire ants are one of the many pests that can be the bane of homeowners across the country, mainly the Southeast. The invasive species, which made its way to the United States from South America via shipping vessels, are now found in 14 states and Puerto Rico. Dubbed fire ants because of their burning jabs, the ants are highly aggressive and attack by latching on to their prey with their mandibles and stinging multiple times with their venom filled hind ends.

For healthy adults, the stings are more of an aggravation than threat, but fire ants have been known to severely injure and even kill young children and small animals. Additionally, if left unchecked, ants can damage homes and other structures, destroy landscapes and wreak havoc in gardens and flowerbeds. They also pose an environmental threat, invading the nests and eating the eggs of native ground dwelling birds and reptiles.

When it comes to fire ants, the consensus, at least after a cursory glance of articles on the internet, seems to be terminate with extreme prejudice. There is no reason to feel bad about dusting the appropriate amount of insecticide on every anthill that pops up after a rain. And it seems that for every one bed that is eliminated another two pop up.

My battle with ants got personal recently. While out playing with his cousins, one otherwise pleasant Sunday afternoon, my son took a seat on the grass. Unknowing to him, he parked his rear end near a nest of ants. Soon he found himself under attack. I did not witness this encounter, but when he made it inside, he had scores of little red marks along his leg and few in other places. His clothes were still dotted with countless attackers, so he was forced to disrobe. However, shame is always lessened when pain is involved.

He spent a few days miserable, on a regimen of antihistamines and various medicinal creams. To cut a long story short, he’ll be OK.

I haven’t exacted my revenge just yet, but I have a stockpile of ant killer and an inkling to use the spreader. It won’t solve the problem because more ants will come, but it’ll make me feel better in the meantime.

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