A life stolen

Dear Readers, Different cultures have different approaches to their legal systems.  Napoleon took over a continent, uniting different countries under what is called the “Napoleonic Code.”  Most of our legal system is based on principles of English law.  Colonization spread these somewhat competing legal traditions across the planet. 

We are a melting pot and draw legal traditions from different cultures.  Louisiana’s system of laws is modeled on the Napoleonic Code.  Orthodox Jewish communities follow “Talmudic Law” with norms and customs, interpreted as “Jewish law” by Rabbinical enclaves.  In New York, married Orthodox women still need a “get” from their husbands to win release from a marriage.  

Judeo-Christian cultural treatment of women is actually historically horrific.  Slavery, lack of property rights, abusive relationships, and poverty are all emblematic of the fate of a woman in Western culture.  Even in this country, rights of property, divorce, and voting rights for women are fairly recent developments.  In this sense, we have no space for criticism.

Islamic countries have something called “Sharia Law,” which, frankly, because of prejudice, has not made much of an impact on our legal traditions.  Nevertheless, in Western countries, a smattering of Islamic enclaves follow Sharia Law or traditions, which might be locally impactful. 

There can be a tension between cultural legal heritage and established law.  What might be culturally permitted violates a statute.  This stress can be particularly pronounced when it comes to women’s rights.  Stress which sometimes plays out in the legal process.  There are some pretty disgusting tales of women being mistreated even today.  

One such tale is from Australia.  Ruqui Haidari was born in 1999 in Afghanistan, her father was killed by the Taliban a month before her birth.  Her mother, Sakina Muhammad Jan, fled to Pakistan with her fatherless family of five and ultimately to Shepparton, Victoria, Australia in 2013.  Her children were raised in a “Western” culture, receiving an education and hope of a bright future free of Taliban shackles.

The year Haidari arrived in Australia, it passed a law outlawing forced marriages, carrying a maximum sentence of seven (7) years in prison.  This did not spare Hairdari an awful fate.  At just 15 years old, she was forced into an arranged marriage, which ultimately resulted in her divorce 5 years later, not yet 21 years old.  Haidari was a member of an ex-patriot Hazara religious community.  As a divorced woman, within that community, she was “bewa,” and had no value as a woman.

Jan wanted to rescue her from this status. She convinced Haidari to marry a second time at 21, this time to a 25-year-old man, Muhammed Ali Halimi. She had used a matchmaker to fly the prospective husband to Shepparton, meet her daughter and family, and arrange for a $14,000 dowry to pay for her daughter’s hand in marriage. This was typical of the Hazara culture, and she had arranged marriages for all five (5) of her children.

Meanwhile, her daughter confided in her mother, two driving instructors, a teacher, a counselor and the police that she did not want to marry Halimi. She wanted to marry for love, not be forced into a relationship.  

The wedding was in November 2019.  The marriage proved far from idyllic.  Haidari refused her husband’s sexual overtures, and her husband complained to her family that she was pretty worthless as a wife.  In apparent frustration, Halimi murdered Haidari on January 18, 2020, just two months after the marriage and the day before he had sent the complaint to the family.  He is serving a life sentence with a minimum of 19 years for acting on his frustrations.

Jan did not escape legal scrutiny; she was arrested and ultimately found guilty of violating Australia’s forced marriage law.  Her attorney pleaded that she was only doing what her experiences taught her, being forced into marriage and bearing children before she was 14 years old herself.   

Judge Fran Dalziel was unswayed by the plea for leniency.  In sentencing her to three (3) years, twelve (12) months before being eligible for release, Judge Dalziel said, “You abused your position as her [Haidari’s] mother, as the person with whom she loved and respected.”

A clash of cultures.  Jan’s Hazara upbringing taught her women had no value, except to be sold into marriage.  She acted consistent with her culture.  We have come to value women differently, even if we once held similar beliefs.  If Jan had learned differently, she would not have lost her child.

Warner Robins attorney Jim Rockefeller is the former Chief Assistant District Attorney for Houston County and a former Assistant State Attorney in Miami.  Owner of Rockefeller Law Center, Jim has been in private practice since 2000.  E-mail your comments or confidential legal questions to ajr@rockefellerlawcenter.com.