A friend like an oxpecker

The oxpecker. Described on rhinos.org (because everybody is just dying to go to rhinos.org) as a “cheeky little bird that sits atop the snout of a rhinoceros, feasting on insects, parasites, ticks” and the sort that would otherwise irritate the snot – literally I suppose – out of this great beast.

Granted I don’t want anybody sitting on my nose (although it is pretty big so it could probably handle it), but that’s the kind of friend I want. Whenever those pesky people show up. The ones who claim to be my friend but give me the feeling – real or perceived – they would stab me in the back any chance they get, I want my friend to swat them away like flies.

Whenever those spam calls come in (I swear since my wife and I set about to buy a new house several months ago they tripled) “… this message is from the loan department. We have a pending offer of $70,000 in the form of an unsecured loan …” I want my friend to consume them, devour them, pig out on them, gobble, gobble, gobble. Whenever those blood-sucking virus types strike. Which oh by the way they just did.

I received an email from what appeared to be a high-ranking official in Houston County’s judicial system. It was someone I had emailed back and forth with on more than one occasion, so it didn’t appear conspicuous.

It was where you’re like: “Well, nobody’s going to send them a virus, because it’d be like walking into the courtroom and saying, ‘Here I am. I did it. Throw the book at me.’” Naïve as ever, however, I clicked on the .pdf attachment.

I found out soon after that it grabbed all of my email addresses. I know this because I had a slew of them – I mean all the way up my chain of command – emailing me asking me why I was inviting them to a Zoom meeting.

So, for the blood-sucking virus types. I want my friend to pluck them off, drop them to the floor and step on them so they make the most wonderful “pop” noise as they explode.

Not only that, but the oxpecker, per rhinos.org (now your favorite website in all of the world), serves as an alarm system for the poorly-visioned rhino. (Did I mention I was near-sighted?) Whenever danger approaches, the oxpecker creates a loud commotion, which in turn warns the rhino something big is about to happen. That is unless he tucks his tail and runs away from the lion or hyenas or whatever it is.

I’m not the kind to run into a burning building (that I know of), but I do know if I’m warned I will be the fastest to run away from danger.

That’s the kind of friend I want. That’s also the kind of friend I want to be. Like the oxpecker. One who takes care of trouble and prevents it as well. In Swahili “the rhino’s guard.” In my world, the friend who guards me.

Or better put. In the world of humanity (if a bird can do it why not us) someone like this: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17.

If that’s not an oxpecker, I don’t know what (who) is.