A face like that of our Father

For the first time in the two years that we have been writing this column in Houston Home Journal, we submitted a repeat column last week. During the days that we would normally be busy collaborating ideas and working on the next piece, we were far too busy rejoicing over the newest member of our family. We would apologize, but we have no regrets. Although our everyday lives are back to some sense of normalcy, we are still celebrating with our oldest daughter and her husband on the birth of their first child. We call our new grandson, CJ., which stands for Christopher, Jr. He’s named after his father and has a face that very much mirrors his dad’s as well. Even at just a few days old, we marveled, not only at how much CJ looks like his dad, but also at the measure of which his movements and facial expressions mirrors those of his father.

Isn’t it amazing how much a child can resemble his or her parents? We’d venture to say that all children have at least trait that is a direct result of who their parents are. It may not always be a facial feature; sometimes it’s in their mannerisms—the way they walk, talk, eat, laugh, or perhaps, it’s in their likes and dislikes. Some similarities are stronger and more pronounced than others, but there is always some facet of likeness. If absolutely none exist, questions are raised, and rightfully so.

If we are Christians, God is our Father. Those of us who say we are His should “look” like Him. Not so much in our natural appearance, although we are all made in God’s image. But we are suggesting something deeper and more meaningful. Our actions and reactions should tell the world that we are children of God. That includes the way we conduct our married lives. That’s right. Our marriages should look like Christ. When people look at our unions, as Christians under covenant, they should see an unfailing, unbreakable, unconditional, extraordinary love—just like the kind that God has for us.

God adores us! He’s absolutely crazy about us! His love for us is not quiet. He loves us out loud. It isn’t hidden. He loves us in a manner that is always on display for the entire world can see. It isn’t abusive. His love comforts and encourages. It isn’t selfish. Christ gave His very life for us. It isn’t disloyal. We can always trust in Him. If all of us, as married people, would fully immerse ourselves in the depth of what a husband’s love should be for his wife and vice versa, we would experience a marital love that is nearly indescribable. Imagine the beauty of a marriage that looks like God!

We like the way one online source, Bible.org, broke it down. “It is good to remember that when God made man in His image (Gen 1:27), He made a husband and wife yoked together as one flesh (2:24). This means that the marriage relationship is a model of God and specifically the Trinity. When a marriage does not function properly, it mars the image of God, and it breaks down every aspect of society.”

The last sentence alone truly puts it all in perspective. When marriages fail to accurately reflect God, they, in essence, give the world a skewed picture of what the love of God looks like. This is especially true when it comes to covenants that consists of husbands and wives who proclaim Christ as their personal Savior.

It seems the devil has embarked upon an accelerated mission to destroy the faces of Christian marriages. We can name quite a number of couples that we know personally whose marriages have failed within the last two years. Many of them, were couples that worked together in ministry. Some had been married for many years. Listen, married friends… there is never a time when we can let our guards down. The enemy of our marriages respects no one! He does not care about our titles, and the length of time we have invested means nothing to him. The devil is like a roaring lion seeking for those that he can devour. And for him, we’re certain that the more influential in the kingdom of God that the victims were, the sweeter his victory tastes.

There is an age-old saying that tells us, “A family that prays together stays together.” While we believe there is truth in that, we also know that it takes more than prayer. Scripture clearly lets us know, in James 2:17, that “faith without works is dead.” When we apply that to our marriages and families, we should draw the conclusion that praying without being intentional and putting in the effort is futile.

As indicated in the final sentence of the previously stated Bible.org quote, when marriages fail, families fail. And when families fail, society fails. Almost every dastardly thing that is going on in our world today is somehow rooted in family failure. When government starts to mess with the biblical definition of marriage and when laws begin to tell parents that they cannot correct their children as instructed in Scripture, the results are marriages that no longer mirror God and a nation that has totally forgotten Him.

We are blessed in that both our daughters are women of strong faith, and each of their husbands are the same. They have solid marriages that are Christ-led and grounded in the Word of God. Our marriage has looked like God to them, and now, their marriages are looking like God to their children. There is nothing like leaving a legacy of Christ.

Our children should see the face of the Father in the way we communicate with and interact with one another as husbands and wives. Not only our children, but our neighbors, our co-workers, our friends, our constituents—even strangers. But guess what? This kingdom reflection should not be limited to times when others can see. Even behind closed doors when no one is looking, our love for one another should reflect the love of God.

If the face of your marriage doesn’t look like the Father, it’s time for a spiritual facelift. It’s time for divine reconstructive surgery. Get in God’s Word together. Seek His will for your life together. Ask for His help and guidance together. Surround yourselves with other couples who are strong in the faith and have God-reflecting covenants. Seek professional counseling, if necessary, but make sure the counsel you’re receiving is based on Scripture.

Marriage is designed by God to give glory to God. We are in unity with one another, but we should also be in union with God. Everything about a healthy marital union on this earthly plane has been designed by God to reflect our relationship with God Himself. Husbands and wives, let’s each ask ourselves, “Does my marriage look like God?”

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Byron, Ga., the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” ™ the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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