Thanksgiving turkey cooking advice

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I bring you advice on how to cook your holiday turkey from children:

First I’d go and buy the turkey. Then I would take it home. Then put it in the oven for 30 minutes. I would set it for 69 degrees F. Then take it out of the oven and put it on the table. I would serve it with corn, mashed potatoes, and my favorite, crescent rolls.

I would get turkey in a store. I would put some leaves on the turkey. I would set it for 50 minutes. I would set it for 10 degrees. I would put it with mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, and turkey. That is how I make my turkey.

You get the turkey at Price Chopper. You buy it. Mom puts it in a pan with chicken and gravy. Turn the oven on 8 degrees. Cook it for 50 hours.

Get a dead turkey that is lying in the woods on the ground. Pick up the turkey and bring it home. There are no feathers when you find it in the woods. Put the turkey in a bowl and put it in the oven. Leave it in for however long you cook dinner. The oven makes noise and then it is done. Take it out of the oven and bring it to the table. Take the turkey out of the bowl and eat it.

You get a turkey from Food City. You bring it home. Take the paper off of it. Put the turkey in a big bowl and put it in the oven. Cook the turkey for 15 hours. It is done when it’s not burned. Climb inside and eat it, but only after you shut off the oven.

Put it in the oven. Cook it for 6 minutes. Yell for my dad to come to the table.

Ingredients: hot sauce, rice and broccoli. Directions: Bake at 16 degrees for 6 hours.

Ingredients: salt, rice. Directions: Bake at 1000 degrees for 4 hours. (for a really crispy skin I guess.)

Turkey, eggs, milk, food coloring and chef’s clothes. Directions: Open turkey, put food coloring in it, add eggs then put on chef’s clothes. Put into oven on warm for 2 minutes.

Take one teaspoon of milk and one onion and two carrots and four tomatoes and mush it up together. Cut turkey open to put stuffing in. Cook at 8 degrees for half an hour.

My uncle cooks the turkey by putting it in the oven at 40 degrees for 10 minutes. Then she smashes the potatoes and cooks the beans. Now it is time to eat.

To make stuffing, use chicken meat, one cup of spaghetti, half cup of salt, one cup applesauce. Cook turkey for 30 minutes in a 500-degree stove.

Take a 10,000 pound turkey and put some candy and a fluff sandwich inside with strawberry jelly on top.  Daddy will cook it in the oven at 10 degrees for 40 minutes.

Take a 30 pound turkey, put some fish and cheese inside with turkey and peppers on top.  Mommy will cook it in the oven at 50 degrees for 80 minutes.

Take an 8 pound turkey and put fruit roll-ups and macaroni and cheese inside with watermelons on top.  Me, mom and dad will cook it on the stove for 3 minutes.

And in case you worry about having enough for everyone, consider this Jurassic Park gobbler – Take a 90 pound turkey and put some salt, pepper, pepperoni and chicken nuggets inside with some salt on top.  Mommy, me, and daddy will cook it in the oven at about 30 degrees for about 20 minutes.