Have feelings replaced your faith?

The first step in choosing faith over feelings is being honest that feelings can sometimes replace our faith. This should never be the case, and it’s not our intent, but it happens in our lives far more times than most of us would like to admit.

It goes without saying that feelings are not naturally damaging. In fact, emotions tend to play a substantial role in deepening and expanding the scope of our lives, and they are most definitely necessary for building a solid marriage. Imagine being in a covenant relationship with someone who seems cold, callous and heartless! When expressed properly, emotions are good for relationship building. They are even necessary when it comes to developing our relationship with God.

Without emotions, we would never be able to experience or express gratitude and contentment, compassion and empathy, or sadness and indignation. But while feelings are crucial, they aren’t meant to replace our faith in God.

“In the end they will be destroyed. Their own emotions are their god, and they take pride in the shameful things they do. Their minds are set on worldly things” (Philippians 3:19, GW).

Many therapists believe that our emotional life can and should extend to all people, including spouses, parents, children, friends and strangers. Some even recommend yelling at God when upset. We tend to advise against that one. The truth is that unfiltered rage is never in order. The Bible tells us to be angry, but sin not (see Ephesians 4:26). Anger, in and of itself, is not wrong, but how we express that emotion can very easily become sinful in God’s eyes.

Inner turmoil is real, even for strong believers. Sometimes, believers who are discouraged or who struggle with anxiety are just told to pray more, believe more, or have more faith. But almost all of us can testify to the fact that there have been times in our lives when we have done all of that, yet we still battled with discouragement. It’s an unfortunate part of living in this fallen world.

What are you led by? What directs your decisions, actions, words and thoughts? As believers, we’re called to live by faith. And yet, many of us choose to live by something else — our feelings. Have you ever decided to do something because it simply “felt right?” This practice is not good or godly.

As husbands and wives, we are sometimes invited to participate in activities that would definitely “feel” good to our flesh, but the result of those actions could lead to the damage or total destruction of our marriage covenant. Remember, our carnal mind is enmity against God (see Romans 8:7-8). The flesh will always be tempted to do things that satisfy the flesh, regardless to whether that act is in obedience to the Word of God. The Bible is quick to tell us that our feelings can’t be trusted.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

“Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered” (Proverbs 28:26).

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

Our feelings are like sand — easily changed by surrounding circumstances. Feelings can also be influenced by other people. A reporter may make us feel enthusiastic about an upcoming event in the community. A worship leader can sing songs that make us feel like God’s presence is all around us. A pastor might preach a sermon that makes us feel convicted. A friend sharing kind words could make us feel happy. A salesperson delivering a pitch might make us feel pressured. See how our feelings can be so easily manipulated by words, actions and tones?

There’s a constant battle that our spirits must fight, and it is against our flesh. This is essential if we desire to build strong, harmonious and extraordinary marriages. When our flesh wants to act or react inappropriately, we must know how to unleash our faith instead. Husbands and wives should pray together, read God’s Word together, worship together, fast together. Incorporating these practices in our marriages on a consistent basis will strengthen the faith within our covenants, deepen our pledges to one another and reinforce our bonds with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Warner Robins, Ga., the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the former television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” TM the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

HHJ News