Change your mindset, change your marriage

The world says, “You can do anything if you put your mind to it.” The Bible says, “Let this mind be in you that is also in Christ Jesus.” If we take on the mindset of Christ, there is no limit to how blessed our marriages can be.

No God-fearing Christian sets out to deliberately damage his or her marriage. Any intelligent human being would want nothing more than to have a joyful, rewarding marriage. But because we live in an evil world of clever and cunning influences, many couples wander into danger zones that can sometimes damage or even destroy their unions.

While no marriage is perfect, when those of us who are believers avoid the world’s mindset and apply the wisdom of God’s Word to our covenants, our marriages will be healthy. It is important that we remain aware that the major purpose of marriage is not our happiness. Of course, that does play into it, but the highest purpose of marriage is to glorify God, which, in turn, should bring us joy. Our marriages should be a reflection of Christ and His bride, the church.

“Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:15-17).

Because we’re constantly being bombarded to adapt to live in evil times, we must use the map of God’s Word to find the routes that help us avoid humanity’s perils. Applying God’s wisdom to our marriage is everything! When husband and wife join as one and establish a covenant between themselves and God, they develope a fulfilling union guided by a spiritual mindset.

To fully understand that, we must first understand this truth: we are first a spirit, we live in a body and we possess a soul. To neglect any one of these areas can lead to self-destruction for a couple. This is a serious matter not to be taken lightly. Helping one another to stand firmly grounded in Truth is a way that husbands and wives bless each other. Married couples need to make an intentional decision to keep Christ at the center of their lives. Not just occasionally, but at ALL times.

God is glorified when couples express their love for each other. Couples need to see their physical union as an act of spiritual worship and obedience. The Lord desires that there be order in marriages and families. Because this order is God’s idea, it should never be treated as optional. It’s important that God’s order be respected. As the Author and Finisher of our faith, He knows how we are designed and under what circumstances we will perform best. We cannot willingly violate God’s order and expect consistent harmony in our marriages. What couples sow, they will also reap. That, dear married friends, is a principle of the kingdom of God for His sons and daughters to abide by and therefore, bring glory to Him.

If men are going to be effective husbands, they must first submit themselves fully to Christ. Husbands, when you do this, your wives will find it much easier to respect and submit to you. Equally, wives must be careful to not try to take the leadership role away from the husband. Wives, please understand that submitting yourselves to your husband is a clear sign of strength, not weakness.

God wants us to live for Him in every area of our lives. While quiet time with Him is necessary and should not be underestimated, no less important is being prayerful and connected with God at work, at school or wherever we go. The mindset of Christ should never leave us.

The world says, “The starring roles of men and women in marriage are up for grabs. It doesn’t matter who leads if you agree upon it.” The Bible says, “Husbands are to provide loving leadership; wives are to submit respectfully to their husbands.” The world says, “Do what makes you happy!” The Bible says, “Regard the spouse’s needs and interests above your own.”

When we trust in Christ as Savior and Lord, He gives us the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in us. He empowers our minds with all that is needed to avoid the world’s dangers and apply God’s wisdom to our marriages. And it’s all for His glory!

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Warner Robins, Ga., the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and the founders of the faith-based newspaper, The Royal Trumpet. W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” ™ the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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