They that wait upon the Lord

To say that we “love, love” is an understatement. To see couples—especially married ones—who genuinely and openly adore, respect and honor one another is one of the most beautiful exhibitions in the world. In today’s society, when something as sacred as the God-honored sanctity of marriage is disregarded by many as nothing but “a piece of paper,” it is utterly refreshing when we see couples who are willing to do it God’s way despite what this sinful world says.

In life, we often plan out our futures. This might be especially true for females, but it rings familiar to many males too. Even before we are old enough to marry, many of us—as teenaged boys and girls—start to think about where we want to live when we grow up and what kind of job we want to have. We also start to decide what type of person we want to settle down with and at what age we want to marry. Then when things don’t happen in our self-imposed time frame, we often start trying to force them to happen, which leads to making foolish choices that can include connecting with the wrong people.

This past weekend, we had the pleasure of attending an engagement celebration of two people that we know and love dearly. We knew each of them for years before they ever knew each other. As individuals, they are wonderful; as a married couple, they are going to be amazing. The bride-to-be is in her 40s and is about to be married for the very first time. For years, she has desired to be a wife. And for years, although she remained in a “waiting room” of life, she was (and continues to be) a cheerleader for singles, encouraging them to wait on the Lord, urging them not to fall to temptation in the meantime and being a living example of what it means to trust God to fulfill His promises, even when the evidence cannot not be seen.

No doubt, there are some who jeered and mocked her. Here she was, ministering to them about how God would connect them to the husband or wife He had designed for them, yet year after year, she was still alone. Just a few short months ago, God rewarded her faithfulness, and the set wedding date is quickly approaching. This is what happens when we wait upon the Lord.

God values and honors marriage and hates seeing relationships shattered, but sometimes, because we don’t wait on Him and don’t listen to Him, He allows the prodigal to wander and experience the pain of their own poor choices. Because He knows what’s best for us, His answers are sometimes “no” or “not yet” irrespective of how long we fast or how hard we pray, wishing for a different outcome. Oftentimes, what our fleshly heart wants is completely outside of the divine plan that God has preordained for us. While in our heart of hearts, we understand that God knows what’s best for us, it can feel overwhelming to wait on God’s judgment.

The book of Proverbs, chapter 19, verse 21 (Amplified Bible) states it like this: “Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him/her that will stand (be carried out).”

Waiting can make us feel powerless when we just want to know how best to make moves and fix things. Yet, God often asks us to do just that. Wait. Wait on His time. Wait for Him to show us the way ahead. Wait on an answer to our prayers. As difficult as it can be, waiting is not lost time, nor is it a waste of our time. God is at work even when we are unaware of His movements. In our waiting, God can do transformative work in us and our situation. So, what are we to do through the season of waiting for God? The answer: trust patiently and wait faithfully. When it comes to marriage, this is so vitally important. Christian people, if you want to know what misery is—marry the wrong person! No doubt, some of you reading this right now can raise your hand and shout a loud “Amen” to that one.

Brothers and sisters, if we truly desire a marriage as God designed, we must also understand that it isn’t by our own hand or in our time that it will come about. Instead, we must wait on the Lord and allow Him to complete His perfect work in us—to mold and make us (as well as the mate that He has for us) into the servant-leaders He wants us to be. As we allow Him to change us (and trust that He is also changing our divinely designed spouse), we are then able to wait on Him while living life fulfilled in Him. We do that knowing that as He brings us into oneness with our spouse, together we will walk each day, side by side, in harmony, in wholeness and in holiness.

God always has a purpose for our season of waiting. It can be a challenge to keep believing this truth when you are in the middle of what seems to be a longer season of waiting than anticipated. Let’s be honest here. It’s hard to wait for that godly spouse when you really want to be married. But time and time again, through living examples who have experienced this truth, we are shown that it is always worth waiting on the Lord.

Consider this: There’s a difference between waiting on God to bless you and FAITHFULLY waiting on God to bless you. Countless folk think they are waiting on God, but in reality, they are just waiting around to be blessed. While waiting around to be blessed, they are also engaging in acts that go against the Word and will of God. That, in and of itself, means they are not faithfully waiting on the Lord. They foolishly expect to be blessed despite their own actions and disobedience to the Lord. But 1 Samuel 15:22 tells us that obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams… pause and think on that!!!

One of the most ignored blessings of faithfully waiting on God in obedience is the avoidance of self-inflicted misery. Check it out; this is crystal clear when it comes to God’s rules for relationships. For example, God does not tell Christians (in 2 Corinthians 6:14) to avoid becoming unequally yoked because He wants to take away all the excitement that should come with a relationship. God tells true believers in Him to only marry those who are the same because He knows that if we get involved with someone who is not first connected to Jesus in their own heart, that relationship will turn toxic very quickly.

Waiting on God to bring you in relationship with the person He wants you to marry not only promotes the process, it helps you escape making wrong turns on the excursion in the direction of your future marriage, and it also helps you avoid the pain of getting into bad relationships. Rest assured, it’s far better to be unmarried until God unites you with “the one” than it is to do it on your own and wind up in an unfulfilling, imbalanced and dysfunctional marriage.

In the words of Psalm 27:14, “Wait, I say, on the Lord!”

Drs. Michael & Kendra Holmes are the senior pastors of Deliverance Revival Church in Byron, Ga., the founders of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC, the authors of the 31-day devotional, “Cross-Fire: Igniting Passionate, Purposeful, and Powerful Relationships” and guest hosts of the television talk show, “The Marriage Circle Connection.” W.A.R. is an acronym for “We Are Royalty,” ™ the official slogan of Royalty Relationship Coaching, LLC. Visit the website at www.RoyaltyRelationshipCoaching.com.

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