Sugar first for coffee in bed

One of the things I like about retirement is serving my wife coffee in bed almost every morning. I don’t know who enjoys it more … her being served or me serving her.

For 30-plus years of my working career, mornings were always a hurried haste with me rushing to get out the door, often with breakfast in hand to be eaten in the car while driving to work to face and solve the day’s problems. Now, we enjoy one of God’s great gifts to seniors: a less harried pace in the morning.

Now this coffee I take her has to be just right, mind you, or I don’t get my points for the day. It has to be fresh brewed and hot, but not too hot. And, I have to stir in one scant teaspoon of sugar BEFORE I stir in the cream!

According to my wife, the cream cools the coffee slightly such that if I put the cream in first, the sugar doesn’t get completely dissolved – at least not in her mind. And after all, for routines like this, what’s in her mind is what really counts. It also gives us something to kid each other about just together or sometimes in front of friends when I’m trying to convince them how much I love my wife by how I spoil her.

If you’re a retired senior and still have your wife with you (this goes for wives too, but allow me to just write this from a husband’s perspective this morning if you will), you’re a blessed man and you ought to find a way to spoil your wife. After all, she probably washed and folded your underwear for 30-plus years while you were working, too. It’s a simple little way to say thanks for all those years and to say “I love you today, baby” and “I’m excited to be able to share life with you today.”

Now, when you first try this you have to be careful not to shock her too much. Once, I offered a beautiful bouquet of camellias from a prolific bush in the yard to a contractor who was doing some work for me so he could take them home to his wife. He accepted and took them home to her. Next morning I asked how it went. He said when he handed the flowers to his wife she looked at him with a very suspicious look, put her hands on her hips and said “What do YOU want!” He never took me up on it again even though I offered several times.

You may get that stare the first time you try it too but don’t be perplexed – be persistent. Soon she’ll get the idea that you really do love her.

Of course it doesn’t have to be coffee. It could be taking out her pet kitten first thing in the morning or getting her favorite robe off the hangar or whatever little something she would consider special if you did it for her.

But if it is coffee, don’t forget to stir the sugar in first!

See you next week!

Bill Milby, CSA, is a Certified Senior Advisor and a Director of Visiting Angels® of Macon, a non-medical, living assistance service for seniors. If you have questions or comments about this column you can reach him at william.mercylink@gmail.com or search for us at www.facebook.com/VisitingAngelsMacon.

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