Instead of my normal incredibly insightful political commentary, or gripping legal analysis of the law or amazing rock’n’roll trivia, I’m going to do a rare product review of things that you probably don’t have in your life, but should.
Mary Ann and I were in the store this week when I saw one of those “As Seen On TV” products. I could not resist. It’s a motion activated, multi-colored toilet bowl light. You know that life is good when you can light up your toilet bowl in ten different colors. It’s only $9.99. Not $10, but a penny less. It takes 3 AAA batteries, not included. It simply straps over the edge of the johnny and hangs out there, waiting for movement. It’s light sensitive, so it only works in the dark. But when it detects you moving toward it in the wee morning hours, it lights up the bowl in beautiful colors. I’m not sure how fascinating it is for Mary Ann, but for me, it’s sort of the epitome of a life well lived when I can leave the bathroom lights off and still hit the mark. You can make the light be one color, or like me, just let the colors change. Life is good.
Another product that you don’t have but should is a powerline network for your house. They make this device that lets you plug your Internet connection from your modem into your house electrical wiring, and presto! You have your entire house wired for Internet. You then plug another one of the thingys into the wall wherever you want a computer connection and plug up your computer. Boom. You have an ethernet connection to your modem. In our case, we ran a second wireless access point into our bedroom so that the wireless signal would be better on the other side of the house. It works great! It’s about $40 for a set and you can add as many additional devices as you want. Yes, I had tried the “range extender” on the wireless signal, but it’s not nearly as good as this.
My old man problem is reading glasses. I had Lasik surgery about twelve years ago and it was fantastic. But I was told that as I got older, I would need to get corrective enhancements since my eyes would deteriorate. Sure enough, now I need reading glasses. But they make contact lenses that are reading glasses. Who knew? Pop these bad babies in your eyes and no more reading glasses. So now I alternate between my stylish reading glasses and my contacts.
Finally, my underwear isn’t bought at Kmart anymore. As a kid, my mom and dad bought me new underwear at Kmart (kiddos, Walmart hasn’t been around that long). Probably got some new undies about twice a year, start of school and Christmas, right? But once I found out about Tommy John underwear, well, life is good. Okay, it’s a tad pricey. Averages $25 or so for one set of briefs, but wow, it’s worth it. I’ve bought both Tommy John and SAXX. They are equally good. Probably others out there as good. No more adjusting your sweaty, sagging, malformed underwear during the day. You truly forget you have them on. Yes, I have tried the big name retailers “fresh” underwear, but they just aren’t as good. Treat yourself to a pair and I bet you’ll agree that it is worth paying a bit extra.
Gripping political analysis will resume next week. Or maybe rock’n’roll. I’m not sure.
Kelly Burke, master attorney, former district attorney and magistrate judge, is engaged in private practice. He writes about the law, rock’n’roll and politics. These articles are not designed to give legal advice, but are designed to inform the public about how the law affects their daily lives. Contact Kelly at kelly@burkelasseterllc.com to comment on this article or suggest articles that you’d like to see and visit his website www.kellyrburke.com to view prior columns.
