Who is a barista?

Baristas are in the news. Who is a barista? Generally defined as a person who prepares coffee or espresso at a coffee shop, but for today I am using the definition that the city officials in Everett, Wash., use: a young lady wearing a bikini who serves up coffee made to order at a drive-up coffee stand. Everett decided that it was high time to ban pretty ladies in bikinis selling coffee. After all, who can be in favor of that?

The Everett City Council passed an ordinance in August that effectively banned pretty baristas in bathing suits by requiring baristas to wear shorts and a tank top at a minimum. The City claimed that the change was necessary because of increased crime, the spread of STDs and corruption of minors around coffee shops. As an example, a sheriff’s deputy was recently convicted of laundering money for a bikini barista. Instead of hiring better sheriff deputies, they ban skin? And I don’t know about you, but I sure hope STDs cannot be spread by drinking coffee. What kid buys an espresso? And since it’s a drive-up coffee stand, isn’t the “minor” at least 16 years old? They can consent to sex in Washington but not to

seeing a bikini barista?

The City was spending too many police hours conducting “undercover” operations, so instead of prohibiting and prosecuting lewd conduct, the City sought to regulate the baristas’ free speech, or so the Plaintiffs argue in a lawsuit. While the hilarity of the lawsuit deals with the usual claims of

vagueness of the statute, First Amendment rights and so on, I am mesmerized by the conflicting arguments offered by the City.

I’ve told you before that you can hire an expert to say anything, for a price. So

Everettt did exactly that: “The male gaze on bikinied women is on the continuum of sexualization of women,” wrote Mary Anne Layden, Ph.D., a

psychologist and director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology program at the University of Pennsylvania. “When you make the body a commodity, and sex a product which you sell, one outcome is sexual violence. If you can sell it, you can steal it.” (I note that every conduct, good or bad, is on a continuum, so what she said could well be true, or not.)

It’s now supposed to be a crime to gaze at a woman in a bikini? Should it also be illegal to put a pretty woman’s face on a billboard? That is clearly designed to get attention, no?

“We have to control our women.” So said a friend of mine a few years ago. I replied that “we” needed to do no such thing, that “we” needed to behave like gentlemen and that a woman can wear whatever she wants and that does not give a man any privilege to do as he pleases. That is, however, basically the argument the City is making when the city attorney says that bikini baristas are “ripe for exploitation.” Huh? If so, doesn’t that make them victims? So now the City is regulating the conduct of victims to keep men from behaving like animals? Bizarre. Should we criminalize people for leaving their cars unlocked at the mall? That only entices thieves, right?

There are two aphrodisiacs: power and beauty. Men generally have power, women generally have beauty. Both know how to play it and have done so since the beginning of time. There are societal rules that we must live by, which brings us to today instead of the caveman era.

In the Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose, Al Franken times that we are in, male “privilege” to act like a beast is under attack, and rightly so.

Being an abuser is not acceptable and never should have been. Men don’t get to abuse women just because they hold power. Power like being on a City Council. Enacting ordinances that only affect women. Ordinances that make it difficult for women to make a living.

But isn’t the City just protecting morals? Is it not improper to allow bikini-clad baristas to serve coffee? Why not just strip naked and sell coffee, Kelly? Well, this isn’t that hard to figure out. Everett is 25 miles from Seattle. The Seattle Seahawks cheerleaders, “The Sea Gals,” wear uniforms that would be illegal under the Everett ordinance, if they were selling coffee. But it’s perfectly OK in a stadium full of people, including kids? The bikinis are OK on the beach, where kids are present, but not selling espresso? If Everett wants to ban anyone from wearing a bikini, it might be a net gain, as some folks just don’t need to be wearing bikinis.

Were I so inclined, I’d pass a law about who can wear a bikini, but I’m not man enough to tell any woman what she ought to be wearing in

public.

Liberty takes many shapes and forms, some of which are more attractive than others. But in the end, it is liberty we seek. Give the ladies the ability to sell coffee in a bikini, next thing you know, they’ll want to run General Electric.

Kelly Burke, master attorney, former district attorney and magistrate judge, is engaged in private practice. He writes about the law, rock’n’roll and politics. These articles are not designed to give legal

advice, but are designed to inform the public about how the law affects their daily lives. Contact Kelly at kelly@burkelasseterllc.com to comment on this article or suggest articles that you’d like to see and visit his website www.kellyrburke.com to view prior columns.

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